


The Author Writes This Exclusively At 3 AM And Therefore Didn't Think Of A Title (by Fall Out Boy)

by PaleNoFace



Series: Space Boyfriends [4]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Human, Author Is Sleep Deprived, Chatting & Messaging, Deaf Keith (Voltron), Dysphoria, F/F, F/M, Friends Are Weird, Friends to Lovers, Good Lotor (Voltron), Group Chat Fic, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Keith & Shiro (Voltron) are Half-Siblings, LGBTQ Themes, Lance (Voltron) Has Anxiety, Long-Distance Relationship, M/M, Memes, Nonbinary Pidge | Katie Holt, Other Ships Not Mentioned in Tags, Past Allura/Lotor (Voltron), Pining Keith (Voltron), Platonic Female/Male Relationships, Sign Language, Texting, Trans Romelle (Voltron), Vines, fight me, fluff for the soul, making friends is hard, no beta we die like men, season 8 never happened, sir this is my emotional support disaster squad, updates are a mess
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-02
Updated: 2019-09-23
Packaged: 2019-10-03 03:39:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 23,583
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17276399
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PaleNoFace/pseuds/PaleNoFace
Summary: Gaylien: Shiro This Was A MistakeSpace Man: why is this sentence capitalizedGaylien: why do you never capitalize anythingSpace Man: capitalization ? in this economy ?Earthling: this reeks of chaotic millennial energy and i'm here for itGaylien: adam save meEarthling: perish





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith : Knife Boi, Gaylien  
> Lance : Long Boi  
> Hunk : Sunshine  
> Pidge : Smol  
> Allura : Dancing Queen  
> Romelle : Hunk's Doppelganger  
> Shiro : Space Man  
> Adam : Earthling

_**KeithK** added **KatieH** , **KidlatG** , **LanceM** , **AlluraA** and **RomelleY** to a groupchat_

_**KeithK** renamed the groupchat to **Talk Slowly To Me**_

 

 **LanceM** : owo ?

 **AlluraA** : ...Keith ?

 **KeithK** : it's easier for me that way

 

_**KatieH** changed their pseudo to **Smol**_

_**LanceM** changed their pseudo to **Long Boi**_

_**Long Boi** changed **KeithK** 's pseudo to **Knife Boi**_

_**KidlatG** changed their pseudo to **Hunk**_

_**Knife** **Boi** changed **Hunk** 's pseudo to **Sunshine**_

 

 **Sunshine** : fair

 

_**AlluraA** changed their pseudo to **Dancing Queen**_

_**Dancing Queen** changed **RomelleY** 's pseudo to **Hunk's Doppëlganger**_

 

 **Long Boi** : hold the fuck on

 **Smol** : fuck being hold,

 **Long Boi** : mullet what is this in the first place

 **Knife Boi** : a group chat

 **Long Boi** : wow thanks sherlock

 **Long Boi** : but what for

 **Knife Boi** : i told you, it's easier for me

 **Long Boi** : ya alright but who are all those guys

 **Smol** : stop assuming our genders

 **Long Boi** : lemme rephrase : who are all those fresh glorious pals of yours

 **Knife Boi** : urgh

 **Sunshine** : i don't know if it's better or worse

 **Smol** : i'm keith's lab partner

 **Sunshine** : we have english literature together !

 **Long Boi** : i just so happen to eat lunch at his table

 **Long Boi** : and make fun of his hair

 **Long Boi** : also i double text a lot, sorry about that

 **Long Boi** : now who are the other members of this unlikely team

 **Knife Boi** : this was a mistake-

 **Dancing Queen** : hi yes hello i'm Keith's history tutor, my name is Allura. hi Keith !

 **Knife Boi** : hey allura

 **Hunk's Doppëlganger** : i'm romelle, nice to meet you

 **Hunk's Doppëlganger** : not sure why i'm here tho

 **Knife Boi** : soccer team sticks together

 **Hunk's Doppëlganger** : valid point

 **Long Boi** : soccer team

 **Long Boi** : you're in the soccer team

 **Knife Boi** : yeah, what about it

 **Smol** : oh boy

 **Long Boi** : this is very jock of you, mullet

 **Knife Boi** : fuck you

 **Long Boi** : oof buy me diner first

 **Sunshine** : ...are you guys always like this ?

 **Knife Boi** : if you consider three weeks as always then yes

 **Knife Boi** : lance is a rude bitch

 **Long Boi** : gASP

 **Long Boi** : i'm offended

 **Knife Boi** : and a drama queen

 **Long Boi** : bitch you're free to eat by yourself no one's forcing you to stick with me

 **Dancing Queen** : i don't want to interrupt anything but can we do proper introductions ? i can't tell who's who

 **Dancing Queen** : Keith, why don't you start ?

 **Knife Boi** : why, all of you know me

 **Hunk's Doppëlganger** : pwetty pwease ?

 **Smol** : i will pay you actual cash to never type that again

 **Long Boi** : keeeeef

 **Sunshine** : please keith ?

 **Knife Boi** : urgh FINE

 **Knife Boi** : i'm keith, he/him, junior year, and i know every one of you because of classes

 **Knife Boi** : allura your turn

 **Dancing Queen** : my name is Allura, she/her, i'm a senior and sometimes i help Keith with history

 **Long Boi** : that's sweet

 **Long Boi** : i'm lance, he/him, junior, keith is the closest thing i have to a friend since this school hates transfer students apparently :)))

 **Long Boi** : also i'm from cuba

 **Sunshine** : that's so cool, i'm samoan/filipino ! island buddies !

 **Long Boi** : for real ??

 **Sunshine** : yeah ! please call me hunk, he/him, i'm in junior year and keith is paired with me this year for eng lit

 **Hunk's Doppëlganger** : okay but now i'm curious, why am i your doppelganger

 **Dancing Queen** : babe i've met the man and he's you on all levels except physical

 **Long Boi** : i am a wolf

 **Smol** : i am a wolf

 **Smol** : ...wait a minute

 **Long Boi** : !!!

 **Long Boi** : meme team ?

 **Smol** : keith i like this one let's keep him

 **Knife Boi** : oh for fucks sake

 **Long Boi** : i feel loved

 **Sunshine** : in this group we support lance

 **Smol** : agree

 **Knife Boi** : seconded

 **Dancing Queen** : thirded

 **Hunk's Doppëlganger** : yas bitch

 **Smol** : I Feel Love In This Chili's Tonight

 **Long Boi** : guys

 **Long Boi** : guys i'm crying

 **Long Boi** : you all are too sweet to be real

 **Long Boi** : keith you have to make me meet them

 **Knife Boi** : idk i feel like there is enough chaos already

 **Long Boi** : kEITH I'M CRYING

 **Long Boi** : THERE ARE REAL TEARS IN MY EYES

 **Dancing Queen** : dear lord

 **Sunshine** : goodness gracious

 **Smol** : ew emotions

 **Long Boi** : D:

 **Knife Boi** : jesus alright

 **Long Boi** : :D

 **Dancing Queen** : *gasps in british* some of you didn't introduce youself !

 **Smol** : fuck

 **Hunk's Doppëlganger** : we didn't ?

 **Hunk's Doppëlganger** : welp. i am romelle, she/her (pls pls pls be careful with my pronouns it means a lot to me) and i'm in the mixed soccer team of the school with keith ! also i'm a junior

 **Knife Boi** : pidge stop being sneaky

 **Smol** : urgh okay

 **Smol** : my name is katie holt but i go by pidge. i'm still figuring stuff out about my gender, for now i'm sticking to she/her/they/them, depending on the day. and i'm a junior too i guess

 **Long Boi** : you guess ?

 **Smol** : i'm a literal child

 **Smol** : i'm two years younger than keith

 **Long Boi** : gasp

 **Long Boi** : a toddler

 **Smol** : nvm i don't like him anymore take him back

 **Long Boi** : remind me to bring you applesauce when we meet

 **Smol** : i'll headbutt you in the stomach

 

**Space Expedition**

**Gaylien** : Shiro This Was A Mistake

 **Space Man** : why is this sentence capitalized

 **Gaylien** : why do you never capitalize anything

 **Space Man** : capitalization ? in this economy ?

 **Earthling** : this reeks of chaotic millennial energy and i'm here for it

 **Gaylien** : adam save me

 **Earthling** : perish

 **Space Man** : no,

 **Space Man** : keith what is even happening

 **Gaylien** : i made a gc with my friends

 **Earthling** : you have friends ?

 **Gaylien** : oh fuck you

 **Gaylien** : yeah i do

 **Gaylien** : pidge ? romelle ?

 **Space Man** : ah

 **Earthling** : and that guy you've been complaining for weeks ?

 **Gaylien** : him too, he's actually decent when he tries. and hunk and allura are here

 **Earthling** : i fail to see how it is a problem

 **Space Man** : me too

 **Space Man** : oh no wait

 **Space Man** : too much interaction in one day ?

 **Gaylien** : ...yeah

 **Space Man** : urgh

 **Earthling** : real talk here : communication, keith. you have to tell them when it gets overwhelming.

 **Gaylien** : it's weird enough that i made them share a gc, i'm not going to put restrictions on this

 **Space Man** : adam has a point tho, this is about your well being and it means letting them know that sometimes you can't handle too many people at once

 **Gaylien** : hhhhh

 **Space Man** : keith

 **Earthling** : /keith/

 **Gaylien** : why are you both like this

 **Space Man** : hush you love us

 **Gaylien** : gross

 **Gaylien** : see you at home

 **Earthling** : shiro he loves us

 **Space Man** : i'm so proud


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith : Knife Boi, Frodo, Baby Bear  
> Lance : Long Boi  
> Hunk : Sunshine, Soft Boi  
> Pidge : Smol, Sodium  
> Allura : Dancing Queen  
> Romelle : Hunk's Doppelganger  
> Shiro : Gandalf  
> Krolia : Mother Bear

**Talk Slowly To Me**

**Long Boi** : does any of you speak ASL

 **Smol** : i do

 **Sunshine** : i understand it but i'm not fluent

 **Hunk's Doppëlganger** : same, i can hold a conversation if it's not too specific

 **Dancing Queen** : i'm learning it on my spare time, why ?

 **Long Boi** : can someone teach me ?

 **Smol** : sure

 **Dancing Queen** : what about we meet wednesday after school ? are you free ?

 **Long Boi** : uuuh i'm trying for the swimming team early in the afternoon but i should be free around three-ish ??

 **Sunshine** : can i be a part of this too ? it's about time i learn it for good

 **Hunk's Doppëlganger** : i want in but i'll have to leave at five because there's a meeting with the soccer team

 **Smol** : my brother takes me home around 5 too so we'll probably call it a day

 **Sunshine** : do you want me to bring something to eat while we do this ?

 **Long Boi** : ?

 **Dancing Queen** : ooooh the lemon cake you did last time was great

 **Long Boi** : ???

 **Sunshine** : oh yeah i forgot to tell you guys i'm a cook in training

 **Sunshine** : save the universe one meal at the time and all that

 **Smol** : i had a war flashback for some reason and i don't like it

 **Smol** : but yeah lemon cake sounds good

 **Long Boi** : i love (1) man

 **Hunk's Doppëlganger** : that was fast

 **Long Boi** : hunk is my new best friend now

 **Smol** : dnhsjkdazdzs get in line

 **Long Boi** : WAIT I JUST REALIZED I DON'T KNOW YOUR FACES

 **Long Boi** : how are we supposed to meet up if we can't recognize each other

 **Smol** : look out for a green gremlin with fake glasses and you'll find me

 **Long Boi** : ...okay ?

 

_**Sunshine** sent (1) photo(s)_

 

 **Long Boi** : !!!!

 **Long Boi** : a soft boi appears !!!!!

 

_**Long Boi** changed **Sunshine** 's pseudo to **Soft Boi**_

 

 **Soft Boi** : i like this

 

_**Hunk's Doppëlganger** send (2) picture(s)_

 

 **Hunk's Doppëlganger** : i'm on the right on the first one and allura is in the middle on the second

 **Dancing Queen** : !!! that's my favorite picture of us !

 **Long Boi** : holy mother of bagels you both are gorgeous

 **Smol** : holy mother of bagels ?

 **Dancing Queen** : thanks lance ! i find Romelle very pretty too !

 **Hunk's Doppëlganger** : shhhh you're making me blish

 **Smol** : blish

 **Long Boi** : blish

 **Dancing Queen** : blish

 **Soft Boi** : blish

 **Hunk's Doppëlganger** : You Make One Mistake And This Is What Happens

 **Soft Boi** : okay but who are the other two in your pics

 **Dancing Queen** : that would be Romelle's brother Bandor and my step-father Coran

 **Hunk's Doppëlganger** : he's a weird man but in the awesome kind of way

 **Dancing Queen** : he has awesome stories to share, that's for sure

_**Long Boi** sent (2) picture(s)_

 

 **Soft Boi** : woah lance you look so good too !!

 **Dancing Queen** : you have a strong eyes game going on

 **Hunk's Doppëlganger** : is this your real color or do you have lenses ?

 **Long Boi** : nope it's all natural

 **Smol** : dsjbcbsdjc guys

 **Smol** : i'm with keith and he just checked his phone

 

_**Smol** send (1) video(s)_

 

 **Smol** : what a mood

 **Hunk's Doppëlganger** : tag youself i'm keith shrieking

 **Soft Boi** : i'm keith on the floor

 **Long Boi** : smh

 **Long Boi** : and he says I'M the drama queen

 **Soft Boi** : is he okay tho ? he seems pretty red

 **Smol** : he's fine he's just being extra

 **Dancing Queen** : i feel like you're a bad influence on him Lance

 **Long Boi** : 'scuse me i'm a perfectly fine influence

 **Long Boi** : not my fault he can't deal with so many good looking faces in one go

 

**Frodo > Gandalf**

**Frodo** : shiro

 **Frodo** : shiro help

 **Gandalf** : what is happening

 **Gandalf** : are you okay ? do you need me to come get you ?

 **Frodo** : i'm too gay for this shit omfg why is this happening

 **Gandalf** : wh

 

_**Frodo** sent (1) photo(s)_

 

 **Gandalf** : is that lance

 **Frodo** : yes

 **Gandalf** : oof

 **Frodo** : yes

 **Frodo** : he looks even better irl

 **Frodo** : shiro what do i do

 **Gandalf** : and mom thinks i'm the disaster gay of the family

 **Frodo** : /shiro/

 **Gandalf** : ... adam is cackling and yelling "communication"

 **Frodo** : why did you have to tell adam he's never going to let me live that down

 **Gandalf** : i didn't he launched himself at me and stole my phone

 **Frodo** : you're weak

 **Gandalf** : i am

 **Frodo** : i'm going to ask help from someone else

 **Gandalf** : go, be gay

 **Frodo** : i'm disowning you

 

**Talk Slowly To Me**

**Smol** : school is kicking my ass and not in the fun way

 **Long Boi** : pidge its two in the fucking morning

 **Long Boi** : why are you up

 **Smol** : binch i just said school is kicking my ass what do you think i'm doing

 **Long Boi** : kicking school's ass back ?

 **Smol** : studying, lance, i'm studying

 **Long Boi** : what are you studying

 **Smol** : bio & chem

 **Smol** : keith is asleep and he's the one who understands this class

 **Long Boi** : wait i can help

 **Smol** : can you ?

 **Long Boi** : i'm a future marine biologist i kinda have to like science for that

 **Smol** : i like science just fine but biology can suck my non-existent dick

 **Long Boi** : duh

 **Long Boi** : facetime ?

 

_**Smol** called **Long Boi** (1:38:11)_

 

 **Smol** : update : science isn't that bad when explained correctly

 **Long Boi** : told you

 **Long Boi** : now go to sleep pidgeon

 **Smol** : thanks lance

 **Long Boi** : anytime :)

 

**Mother Bear > Baby Bear**

**Mother Bear** : Shiro called me

 **Baby Bear** : oh no

 

**Frodo > Gandalf**

**Frodo** : traitor

 

**Mother Bear > Baby Bear**

**Mother Bear** : Oh yes

 **Mother Bear** : Tell me everything

 **Baby Bear** : what did he say specifically

 **Mother Bear** : ...Are there things you don't want to tell me

 **Baby Bear** : obviously

 **Mother Bear** : Fair

 **Mother Bear** : He told me you made a group chat with your friends

 **Mother Bear** : And that you got a little overwhelmed

 **Baby Bear** : i'm fine okay

 **Baby Bear** : i didn't expect them to befriend each other so quick

 **Mother Bear** : I mean they're all friends with you, I don't know why they wouldn't like each other

 **Baby Bear** : yeah

 **Baby Bear** : i got surprised that's all

 **Mother Bear** : Okay

 **Mother Bear** : I'm proud of you, you're doing so much efforts this year and it's finally paying off

 **Baby Bear** : i guess

 **Baby Bear** : when will you be home ?

 **Mother Bear** : A month or two

 **Baby Bear** : okay

 

**Talk Slowly To Me**

_**Long Boi** changed **Smol** 's pseudo to **Sodium**_

**Long Boi** : cuz you're salty about science

 **Sodium** : valid

 **Knife Boi** : pidge i still have my notes from last class if you need them

 **Sodium** : god is real, hallelujah

 **Knife Boi** : you're atheist ????

 **Sodium** : shut up send me the freakin lecture


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith : Knife Boi, Player 2, Bigfoot  
> Lance : Long Boi, Player 1, Aqualad, Romance Is Dead, Lancelot, One True Love  
> Hunk : Soft Boi, Booster Gold  
> Pidge : Sodium, Green Lantern, Nessie, Gnome, Clone  
> Allura : Dancing Queen, Wonderwoman  
> Romelle : Hunk's Doppelganger, Supergirl, Romulus, Cinnamon Romelle  
> Shiro : Gandalf  
> Matt : Original

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (big chapter because i won't be uploading for a while)

** Player 2 > Player 1 **

**Player 2** : hey is everything okay

 **Player** **1** : yeah why

 **Player 2** : i just saw you run into the nearest bathroom and i'm pretty sure you were trying not to cry

 **Player 2** : do i have to kick someone's ass ?

 **Player 1** : no

 **Player 1** : i'm fine dw about it

 **Player 2** : you're obviously not

 **Player 2** : look i won't pressure you into telling me what's wrong because clearly it upsets you but i'm here to help if you need anything

 **Player 2** : and i'm not pitying you i swear dROP THAT KEYBOARD LANCE I SEE YOU TYPING

 **Player 2** : but i'm your friend and i wish you trusted me enough to tell me when you're not ok

 **Player 2** : shit that sounded a lot more passive-agressive than i wanted

 **Player 2** : THE POINT BEING if i can help let me help

 **Player 1** : thanks keith

 **Player 1** : you know you're not so bad when you're not being a jerk :p

 **Player 2** : ...blocked and reported

 

_**AlluraA** added **LanceM** , **KidlatG** , **KatieH** and **RomelleY** to a groupchat_

_**AlluraA** renamed the groupchat to **ASL Team (?)**_

_**LanceM** changed their pseudo to **Aqualad**_

_**Aqualad** changed **AlluraA** 's pseudo to **Wonderwoman**_

_**Aqualad** changed **RomelleY** 's pseudo to **Supergirl**_

_**Aqualad** changed **KidlatG** 's pseudo to **Booster Gold**_

_**Aqualad** changed **KatieH** 's pseudo to **Green Lantern**_

**Wonderwoman** : see you on the main entrance's steps this afternoon !

 **Aqualad** : has anyone seen keith

 **Aqualad** : he wasn't there at lunch

 **Booster Gold** : yeah he's with me working on the homework for next week

 **Aqualad** : oh ok

 **Booster Gold** : you good ?

 **Aqualad** : yeah i'm just eating all by myself :/

 **Aqualad** : btw how comes that i don't have any of you in any class ever ?? how many students are in our year ???

 **Green Lantern** : a lot

 **Green Lantern** : tbh i don't see any of you either, i just met romelle because of PE

 **Aqualad** : this is unacceptable this team needs to have a proper schedule

 **Wonderwoman** : working on it !

 **Green Lantern** : we stan a queen

 **Supergirl** : move, i'm gay

 **Aqualad** : i love how romelle crawls out from the depths of hell just to claim allura

 **Supergirl** : ehfhsfh excuse me i'm not claiming anybody

 **Aqualad** : hold on please

 **Booster Gold** : on being hold

 **Green Lantern** : hunk not fair i wanted to make that joke

 

**Player 1 > Player 2**

**Player 1** : quick do you think romelle has a crush on allura

 **Player 2** : obviously

 **Player 2** : i'm deaf, not blind

 

**Lancelot > Romulus**

_**Lancelot** sent (1) photo(s)_

 

 **Romulus** : smh i'm gonna murder his ankles at practice

 **Lancelot** : :D

 

**Player** **1 > Player 2**

**Player 2** : wait i thought /you/ had a crush on allura ?

 **Player 1** : i don't go for taken people, who do you think i am

 

**ASL Team (?)**

**Aqualad** : point proved

 **Supergirl** : this proved absolutely nothing

 **Wonderwoman** : what did i miss, do i have to fight Lance ?

 **Aqualad** : girl you could bench press me and yeet me into the sun i would still thank you

 **Green Lantern** : MOM LANCE IS BEING GROSS AGAIN

 **Aqualad** : this family is a fucking nightmare

 **Booster Gold** : lance stop being gross again

 **Aqualad** : betrayed by the best of us :(

 

**Talk Slowly To Me**

**Knife Boi** : fuck romance give me a sword

 **Sodium** : this has the same energy as "nudes are so 2017, send me a photo of urself in full plate armor wielding battle-ready weapons"

 

_**Long Boi** changed their pseudo to **Romance Is Dead**_

 

 **Romance Is Dead** : i'm here for the tea what happened

 **Knife Boi** : james fucking griffin happened

 **Romance Is Dead** : wait james griffin as in james "i talk behind someone's back because they can't hear me anyway" griffin ?

 **Knife Boi** : the one and only

 **Sodium** : there's a lot to unpack in this sentence

 **Soft Boi** : ...keith why is the principal asking for you

 **Hunk's Doppëlganger** : omg

 **Romance Is Dead** : /keith what did you do/

 **Knife Boi** : if anyone asks it was in self-defense

 **Romance Is Dead** : efhdsifhdsf keeeeeeef

 **Dancing Queen** : if you need a lawyer i'm on the third floor

 **Hunk's** **Doppëlganger** : you better not get suspended, I Will Fight

 **Sodium** : why is everyone trying to fight everyone today

 

**Gandalf > Frodo**

**Gandalf** : goddammit keith

 **Frodo** : i'd say i'm sorry but that would be a lie

 **Gandalf** : you're lucky you're getting out of this with a simple warning

 **Gandalf** : what did this kid even do to you anyway

 **Frodo** : talked shit about me and you and mom and pretty much all my friends

 **Frodo** : what was i supposed to do, sit on my ass and act like he doesn't exist ?

 **Gandalf** : yes actually, this is exactly what you should have done

 **Frodo** : griffin is a bully and someone had to put him back in his place

 **Frodo** : i can hear you sight, what the fuck

 **Frodo** : are you seriously giving me the disappointed look all the way from work

 **Gandalf** : i don't deserve any of this

 **Gandalf** : i asked for this, sure, but i don't deserve it

 **Gandalf** : go back to class, we'll need to talk tonight

 

**Talk Slowly To Me**

**Sodium** : [wheeze]

 **Knife Boi** : pidge stfu

 **Hunk's Doppëlganger** : what is happening, where are you

 **Sodium** : i went to collect our local cryptid at the principal's office

 **Knife Boi** : PIDGE

 **Sodium** : apparently he decked griffin

 **Knife Boi** : you're no longer part of this family

 **Romance Is Dead** : [louder wheeze]

 **Knife Boi** : lance i trusted you

 **Knife Boi** : this is treason

 **Romance Is Dead** : oh keith, my buddy, my man,

 **Romance Is Dead** : you can trust me all you want but the mental picture of you punching him in the face is just too good

 **Soft Boi** : why do you guys have beef with james anyway, he looks like a decent guy to me

 **Romance Is Dead** : he's an absolute moron

 **Knife** **Boi** : he thinks i can't tell what he's saying about me

 **Knife Boi** : NEWSFLASH ASSHOLE, i could read lips the whole damn time

 **Hunk's Doppëlganger** : of fucking course you do

 **Dancing Queen** : well obviously, else i don't think you'd understand half of what is generally going on around you

 **Knife Boi** : sometimes i wish i wouldn't

 **Hunk's Doppëlganger** : HUNK I JUST REALIZED SOMETHING

 **Soft Boi** : WHAT IS IT ROMELLE

 **Hunk's Doppëlganger** : you wouldn't happen to know anything about a certain Yellow Lion, would you

 **Soft Boi** : it's my moms' restaurant, why ?

 **Soft Boi** : OH WAIT

 **Soft Boi** : you're the new waitress ???

 **Hunk's** **Doppëlganger** : :D

 **Dancing** **Queen** : !!!!

 **Romance Is Dead** : no way !

 **Sodium** : congrats !

 **Knife Boi** : nice

 **Romance Is Dead** : meanwhile i'm still on my own HEY GUYS LET'S MEET THIS WEEKEND WHAT DO YOU THINK

 **Dancing Queen** : great idea but where ? when ? what do we do ?

 **Romance Is Dead** : my place, saturday night, we can do movie night or video games or board games

 **Soft Boi** : will your parents be okay with four teens invading

 **Romance Is Dead** : nah dude i live in a flat with my older sister, it's chill

 **Sodium** : i'm down as long as i get your wifi once i'm there

 **Romance Is Dead** : consider yourself at home pigeon

 **Hunk's Doppëlganger** : i'll be happy to come but i will certainly arrive later than everyone else, i have to bring my brother home from the hospital :/

 **Romance Is Dead** : don't worry, i'm pretty sure we're gonna make a sleepover

 **Hunk's Doppëlganger** : good

 **Dancing Queen** : i'm in but i veto against titanic

 **Soft Boi** : do you want us to bring anything

 **Soft Boi** : i can do pizza

 

_**Romance Is Dead** changed their pseudo to **One True Love**_

 

 **One True Love** : hunk you're the bestest bro i've ever had

 **Soft Boi** : bro

 **One True Love** : bro <3

 **Sodium** : disgustening

 **One True Love** : love you too gremlin

 **One True Love** : yo mullet you didn't answer, you coming saturday or what

 **Knife Boi** : uh

 **Knife Boi** : it will be just the six of us, right

 **One True Love** : sure, unless you want to bring a +1

 **Knife Boi** : uuuuuh

 

**Nessie > Bigfoot**

**Nessie** : hey, you know it's fine if you don't want to come ? it's chill, really

 **Bigfoot** : yeah no i want to

 **Bigfoot** : but six is a lot, not sure i can handle so many people at once

 **Nessie** : i'm not sure to follow

 **Nessie** : you know every person who'll be there, it's not like it's gonna be a big party with hundreds of people

 **Nessie** : just five of your friends in a safe place, it's not like you'll be surrounded by complete strangers

 **Bigfoot** : that's not the point

 **Bigfoot** : but if you guys start talking all at once i won't follow

 **Nessie** : well for one allura romelle and i can sign

 **Nessie** : and i'm sure hunk and lance will be willing to text or talk slowly if you need

 **Bigfoot** : see this is why i'm bad at making friends

 **Nessie** : shut up you're doing great

 

**ASL Team (?)**

**Wonderwoman** : Lance the OTHER stairs

 **Wonderwoman** : /Lance/

 **Booster Gold** : smh ill get him

 

**Talk Slowly To Me**

**Knife Boi** : i just saw hunk sprint through the courtyard wtf is happening

 **Hunk's Doppëlganger** : don't worry he's being a good friend

 

**ASL Team (?)**

**Wonderwoman** : Pidge where are you at

 **Aqualad** : COME ON PIDGEON I STILL HAVEN'T SEEN YOUR FACE

 **Aqualad** : PIIIIIIIDGE

 

**Gnome > Cinnamon Romelle**

**Gnome** : i'm having a situation

 **Gnome** : send help

 **Cinnamon Romelle** : a "situation" ?

 **Gnome** : vesuvio week

 **Cinnamon Romelle** : oh

 **Cinnamon Romelle** : allura is on her way right now

 **Gnome** : ?

 **Cinnamon Romelle** : i don't have an uterus how am i supposed to help

 **Gnome** : shit sorry you're right

 **Gnome** : i forgot

 **Cinnamon Romelle** : don't worry about it

 **Cinnamon Romelle** : allura is on her way, are you going to be fine ?

 **Gnome** : well it fucking hurts

 **Gnome** : i might call my brother and not come to the meeting

 **Cinnamon Romelle** : awww :c

 **Cinnamon Romelle** : it's okay i'll tell the others, take care

 **Gnome** : thank you

 

**Clone > Original**

**Clone** : dear brother of mine i need a lift

 **Original** : it's ??? three in the afternoon ???

 **Clone** : this is an emergency can you pick me up or nah

 **Original** : do i look like a working man to you

 **Original** : i'll be there in ten

 **Clone** : a hero


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith : Knife Boi, Gaylien, Player 2  
> Lance : Aqualad, Player 1, One True Love  
> Hunk : Booster Gold, Soft Boi  
> Pidge : Sodium  
> Allura : Wonderwoman, Dancing Queen  
> Romelle : Supergirl, Hunk's Doppelganger  
> Shiro : Space Man  
> Adam : Earthling

**ASL Team (?)**

**Aqualad** : thanks again for today guys

 **Aqualad** : what a shame pidge couldn't come :(

 **Aqualad** : same time next week ?

 **Wonderwoman** : good for me :D

 **Booster Gold** : it was really fun !! see you guys next week ! romelle, do you want me to wait for you after practice ?

 **Supergirl** : sure ! see you in two hours !

 **Wonderwoman** : you already have a shift ?

 **Supergirl** : ahah no, i wish

 **Supergirl** : i have to plan my schedule

 **Aqualad** : k well i'm gonna go home, see you guys soon

 **Booster Gold** : bye bud

 **Wonderwoman** : byyyye

 **Supergirl** : see ya lance

 

**Space Expedition**

**Space Man** : keith guess what arrived today

 **Gaylien** : ...they finally fixed it ?

 **Space Man** : ya, it's waiting for you on the table when you come home

 **Gaylien** : i knew there was a justice somewhere

 **Earthling** : next time don't yeet it against a wall maybe

 **Gaylien** : mistakes were made

 **Gaylien** : i'm an adult now

 **Earthling** : *awkward silence*

 **Space Man** : /cough/

 **Gaylien** : fuck you, both of you

 

**Talk Slowly To Me**

**One True Love** : today in your new episode of "Life Is a Fucking Trainwreck" : 8am classes suck and i wanna die

 **Knife Boi** : same but also uh no dont die

 **One True Love** : who the fuck needs grammar classes anyway, why is this even part of my freaking cursus

 **One True Love** : i'm hispanic ffs not braindead

 **One True Love** : i know how shit works thank you very much

 **Soft Boi** : hello to you too

 **One True Love** : HUNK MY RAY OF SUNSHINE

 **One True Love** : THE DAY IS SUDDENLY BRIGHTER

 **Knife Boi** : wow

 **Soft Boi** : YOU'RE WELCOME MY DUDE BUT ALSO TAKE IT EASY THIS SCHOOL ISN'T COOL TO TRANSFERS :(

 **One True Love** : what a bitch :))

 **Soft Boi** : we been knew

 **Knife Boi** : if allura was up she'd say to "drink ya fockin woter"

 **Dancing Queen** : hey i ressent that

 **Dancing Queen** : i don't even talk like this >:c

 **Hunk's Doppëlganger** : honey you kinda do

 **Dancing Queen** : i won't stand for this slander

 **Knife Boi** : we stan a british queen

 **One True Love** : romelle is always ghosting until allura comes up it's cute

 **Hunk's Doppëlganger** : I Will Break You McClain

 **Knife Boi** : ew capitalization

 **Dancing Queen** : in this economy ?

 **Soft Boi** : this joke is getting so old you dusty millenials

 **Hunk's Doppëlganger** : excuse i'm a dashing gen z *dabs*

 **One True Love** : how would you know we're all part of the grey zone between millenials and gen z

 **Hunk's Doppëlganger** : nah i'm definitely a gen z

 **Hunk's Doppëlganger** : proof being, i grew up with a smartphone and i didn't have a separate device to listen to music

 **One True Love** : /what kind of selection criteria is that/

 **Soft Boi** : no wait let the gal talk

 **Dancing Queen** : i mean she's got a point

 **Knife Boi** : i

 **Knife Boi** : wait then im a millenial

 **One True Love** : w

 **One True Love** : for real

 **Knife Boi** : yeah

 **Dancing Queen** : i'm also a millenial

 **Dancing Queen** : not that it surprises anyone

 **Soft Boi** : i think i'm a gen z ? or at least i always thought of myself as a gen z

 **One True Love** : am i really the only one undefined ??

 **One True Love** : is that weird ???

 **Knife Boi** : i mean you do have a tumblr,

 **One True Love** : shhhh keith no one needs to know about my tumblr

 **One True Love** : OH HEY WHERE IS PIDGE :(

 **Soft Boi** : djdhcsdc nice dodge lance

 **Dancing Queen** : i guess she's still resting

 **Hunk's Doppëlganger** : oof

 **Hunk's Doppëlganger** : maybe we should go to her home after school to see how she is ?

 **Knife Boi** : what happened to her anyway

 **One True Love** : periods

 **Knife Boi** : and thats ? a problem ?

 **One True Love** : trust me, i have two sisters, i have a vague idea how painful it can be

 **Dancing Queen** : i second that, Mother Nature really nerfed anyone with an uterus...

 **Soft Boi** : you guys have an insane amount of pain tolerance

 **Soft Boi** : you were too powerful, one had to balance it out

 **Dancing Queen** : lol maybe, yes

 **One True Love** : oh hey i had a dream where allura was an alien

 **One True Love** : romelle too

 **Knife Boi** : !

 **Knife Boi** : aliens you say ?

 **Soft Boi** : oh no

 **Hunk's Doppëlganger** : famous last words

 **Dancing Queen** : Lance run while you still can

 **One True Love** : what is happening what did i say

 **Knife Boi** : you and me in the library at lunch

 **Knife Boi** : i have theories to share and no you don't have a choice

 **One True Love** : okay ???

 **One True Love** : it's a date then ???

 **Knife Boi** : ...yes ?

 **Hunk's Doppëlganger** : goodbye my friend, it was nice knowing you

 **One True Love** : seriously what the fuck is going on you're scaring me

 **Hunk's Doppëlganger** : keith is an alien enthusiast/cryptid hunter/conspiracy theorist in case you didn't know

 **Dancing Queen** : who do you think converted Pidge ?

 **Knife Boi** : THEYRE OUT THERE LANCE

 **Knife Boi** : I KNOW IT

 **One True Love** : omg

 

**Talk Slowly To Me**

**Sodium** : heyyou sons of benches guess who didn't die

 **One True Love** : PIDGE THANK GOD

 **One True Love** : HOW ARE YOU

 **Sodium** : mom took me to the hospital yesterday so that was fun

 **Soft Boi** : excuse me /what/

 **Sodium** : long story short, iron deficit+dehydration combo is a thing that can happen and i wasn't aware of that

 **Sodium** : so uhhh yeah i fainted as soon as i came home

 **Hunk's Doppëlganger** : holy shit

 **Dancing Queen** : holy christ are you okay now ?

 **Sodium** : yup i've been eating lentils and drinking half my wheight in water

 **Sodium** : also matt freaked out and started crying

 **One True Love** : D:

 **Soft Boi** : i'm crying too pidge this could have been serious you have to take care of yourself

 **Sodium** : here for a fun time not a long time

 **Soft Boi** : NO,

 **Hunk's Doppëlganger** : pIDGE

 **Dancing Queen** : oof

 **One True Love** : pidge wtf

 **Sodium** : sorry

 **Sodium** : i just lowkey highkey hate everything rn dysphoria can suck my ass

 **Hunk's Doppëlganger** : i feel u sis

 **Soft Boi** : saem

 **Dancing Queen** : sorry to repeat myself but /oof/

 **One True Love** : OKAY SAD SQUAD CHEER UP

 **One True Love** : pidge what do you think of us invading your home

 **Sodium** : honestly sounds good

 

_**Sodium** sent (1) map(s)_

 

 **Sodium** : see you after school

 **Sodium** : someone tell keith to come too this bitch isn't responding his phone

 

**Player 1 > Player 2**

**Player 1** : yo dude where tf are you

 **Player 1** : keith

 **Player 1** : keiiiiiiith

 **Player 1** : MULLET-HEAD TO THE FRONT DESK, MULLET-HEAD TO THE FRONT DESK

 **Player 2** : shit yeah sorry library

 **Player 1** : i am in the library you aren't there

 **Player 2** : second floor

 **Player 1** :

 **Player 1** :

 **Player 2** : lance ?

 **Player 1** : this school is a never ending amazement

 **Player 1** : how the fuck do you fit a second floor in a school library

 **Player 2** : it's a big ass library

 **Player 2** : are you coming or what

 **Player 1** : omw

 

**Talk Slowly To Me**

**One True Love** : keith i hate you

 **One True Love** : fuck this fuck you fuck everything ;-;

 **Knife Boi** : look at my face and tell me if i look like i care

 

_**Knife Boi** sent (1) photo(s)_

 

 **Hunk's Doppëlganger** : ...keith what did you do...

 **Knife Boi** : reptilians

 **Hunk's Doppëlganger** : NOPE I'M OUT

 

**Player 2 > Player 1**

**Player 2** : hey you don't really hate me do you

 **Player 1** : nah bud you're good

 **Player 1** : your theories are really scaring the hell out of me tho

 **Player 1** : but you know, in a cool way ? i'm getting paranoid over this

 **Player 2** : wait until i tell you about cryptids

 **Player 1** : do i really want to know

 **Player 1** : wtf of course i wanna know

 **Player 2** : curiosity kills the cat

 **Player 1** : shut up i know you're having the time of your life scaring me

 **Player 2** : i'm not denying that


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith : Knife Boi, Knight, Player 2, McMullet  
> Lance : One True Love, Merman, Player 1  
> Hunk : Soft Boi  
> Pidge : Sodium  
> Allura : Dancing Queen, Queen  
> Romelle : Hunk's Doppelganger, Loud Shriek  
> Shiro : Gandalf

** Talk Slowly To Me **

**Sodium** : thanks for passing by my house

 **Dancing** **Queen** : it was a pleasure ! i really liked talking with your dad

 **One True Love** : matt is my new sibling i'm sorry i don't make the rules

 **Sodium** : understandable have a nice day

 **Knife Boi** : he kept asking me news from shiro and adam like bOI YOU HAVE A PHONE USE IT

 **Soft Boi** : so many plants in your house i love it

 **Hunk's** **Doppëlganger** : i wish i could kidnap your dog pidge, bae bae is adorable

 **Sodium** : no dognapping please, i need him to keep me warm

 **Sodium** : also i love you guys i feel like i don't say it enough

 **One** **True Love** : let me quote you : "ew, emotions"

 **Sodium** : nvm feelings are officially cancelled

 **Knife** **Boi** : big mood

 

**Merman** > **Gremlin**

**Merman** : luv you too pidgeotto <3

 **Gremlin** : <3 to you too i guess

 **Merman** : hey what's up with keith "cancelling feelings" being a mood

 **Gremlin** : who knows, that boy has more mood swings than a postmenopausal woman

 **Merman** : /tea/

 

**Queen** > **Knight**

**Queen** : Keith do you mind coming tonight instead of tomorrow ? turns out i won't be in town for the next few days...

 **Knight** : sure

 **Knight** : everything alright ?

 **Queen** : ah, yes, it's just that time of the year and i feel like i should come with my dad and Coran for once

 **Knight** : okay sure

 **Knight** : if you want we can go and pick the flowers together after we're done studying

 **Queen** : i'd like that ! thank you !

 **Knight** : anytime

 **Queen** : her grave will be beautiful :)

 **Knight** : yeah

 **Knight** : maybe i should go too, uh

 **Queen** : don't fret

 **Queen** : it's not because i feel able to see my mom this year that it means you have to do the same with your dad

 **Knight** : i kinda want to ? plus shiro already said he would go sometime this month so i guess i'll tag along

 **Queen** : it's up to you

 **Queen** : i'm here if you need to talk about it

 **Knight** : i know, i know

 **Knight** : thanks, lura

 **Queen** : anytime :)

 

**Talk Slowly To Me**

**One True Love** : hhhhhh

 

_**One True Love** sent (2) photo(s)_

 

 **Knife Boi** : /why are you like this/

 **One True Love** : because it's good news !

 **Hunk's Doppëlganger** : hi yes good morning i have one question

 **Hunk's Doppëlganger** : why the fuck is lance sending pics of keith's ears

 **Sodium** : kinKY

 **One** **True Love** : smh you guys are terrible, terrible people

 **One True Love** : look closer !!!

 **Sodium** : wha

 **Sodium** : oh

 **Sodium** : keith you have you aids back ?

 **Knife Boi** : ye

 **Knife Boi** : also i spooked hunk this morning

 **One True Love** : uh nuh D:

 **Knife Boi** : i heard him come to me and he didn't expect me to turn around and say hi

 **Sodium** : wasted

 **Hunk's Doppëlganger** : killed by friendliness

 **Sodium** : Dead by Polite™

 **Sodium** : soon on your gameboys

 **Hunk's Doppëlganger** : heresy

 **Soft Boi** : :((((

 **Knife Boi** : HUNK I'M SORRY

 **Soft** **Boi** : it's okay, i'm glad you got your stuff back !

 **Knife Boi** : you and me both

 **Knife Boi** : it's a lot easier that way

 **One True Love** : wait why did you go so long without it in the first place

 **Knife Boi** : i broke it and they're stupidly slow at repairing this stuff

 **One True Love** : ...so you just spent the first three weeks of school just not hearing batshit ? you don't have a second pair of it or smth ?

 **Knife Boi** : i have another pair

 **Knife Boi** : but it's old and not adapted and just generally sucks

 **Soft Boi** : fucks to be you i guess

 **One True Love** : fucks

 **Sodium** : fucks

 **Hunk's Doppëlganger** : fucks

 **Knife Boi** : fucks

 **Soft Boi** : I SAID WHAT I SAID

 **Dancing Queen** : did he fucking stutter

 **Hunk's Doppëlganger** : Wife ~

 **Dancing Queen** : My love ~

 **One True Love** : Lance ~

 **Dancing Queen** : >:c

 **One True Love** : oh sorry i thought we talked about each other suavely

 **Knife Boi** : why would you say your own name then

 **One True Love** : it's called self-love mcmullet look it up

 **Knife Boi** : ...mcmullet

 **Sodium** : OH HEY VERY QUICKLY i won't come to school for another three days, can someone get the homework for me

 **Hunk's Doppëlganger** : sure !

 **Knife Boi** : alright

 

**Player 1** > **Player 2**

**Player 1** : yo what the FUCK is up with our girls

 **Player 2** : dunno but i'm lowkey rooting for them

 **Player 2** : romelle is pining more that a forest of spruce trees

 **Player 1** : how long where you looking online to make that joke

 **Player 2** : way to long

 **Player 1** : ... anyway should we help them getting together orrrr

 **Player 2** : what ?

 **Player 1** : nvm it's probably a very bad idea to meddle

 **Player 2** : hm

 **Player 2** : allura isn't around for the rest of the week anyway so

 **Player 1** : oh yeah ? where she going ?

 **Player 2** : she's going to visit he mom's tomb with coran and her dad in their hometown

 **Player 1** : her mom's dead ? shit that sucks :(

 **Player 1** : my grandpa's dead too but i don't think it's anything like losing a parent

 **Player 2** : i wouldn't know, i never met my grandparents

 **Player 1** : wait

 **Player 1** : keith, did you..?

 **Player 2** : yeah, my dad

 **Player 1** : i'm sorry

 **Player 2** : it's fine, it was a long time ago

 **Player 1** : ...okay, you know you can talk to me if you need ?

 **Player 2** : thanks

 **Player 1** : on a happier note, are you coming saturday ? you never answered that

 **Player 2** : i mean sure

 **Player 2** : should i bring something ?

 **Player 1** : your pretty face will be enough, thanks

 **Player 1** : OKAY I HAVE TO GO SEE YOU TOMORROW AT LUNCH

 **Player 2** : k bye

 

**Frodo** > **Gandalf**

**Frodo** : shiro i'm fucked

 **Gandalf** : this particular line comes too often in our discussions for my taste

 

**Talk Slowly To Me**

_**Soft Boi** changed **Knife Boi** 's pseudo to **McMullet**_

 

 **Soft Boi** : :D

 **McMullet** : thanks i hate it

 **Sodium** : hunk is secretly evil confirmed

 **Hunk's Doppëlganger** : i'm surprised lance didn't do it sooner

 **Hunk's Doppëlganger** : i'd like to change my username too

 

_**Sodium** changed **Hunk's** **Doppëlganger** 's pseudo to **Loud Shriek**_

 

 **Loud Shriek** : fuck go back gO BACK-

 **Sodium** : TOO LATE

 **McMullet** : i swear i can hear pidge laughing all the way from my class this is terrifying

 **Loud Shriek** : /username intensifies/

 **Loud Shriek** : uh, you know what, this isn't that bad

 **Soft Boi** : this is so going to be a running gag, just you wait

 **Dancing Queen** : JUST YOU WAIIIIIIIIIIIT

 **McMullet** : pls no it's too early for hamilton

 **One True Love** : it's only too early for hamilton if you're a coward

 **One True Love** : SO WHAT DID I MISS

 **Dancing Queen** : Lance ! where did you go ??

 **One True Love** : help my dearest sister with the grocery shopping because i'm a lovely boi

 **Sodium** : wish all brothers were like this

 **McMullet** : i wish i was that kind of brother

 **McMullet** : but it'll be hell the day i put a foot inside a supermarket

 **Dancing Queen** : any supermarket is a liminal space if you try hard enough

 **Soft Boi** : i mean, you're not wrong

 **One True Love** : you /do/ meet weird people at walmart

 **One True Love** : i just saw that kid eat fullspoons out of a jar of mustard

 **Soft Boi** : urgh it burns my stomach just thinking of it

 **Loud Shriek** : what the fuck who does that

 **One True Love** : that one kid at walmart apparently

 **Sodium** : i'm usually the one who makes walmart look like an alternate dimension

 **Sodium** : once i tripped on my shoelaces and there was a mom looking so i kinda mumbled "too many limbs,,, this body has too many limbs" and walked away

 **Dancing Queen** : one time Romelle bumped into a shelf and half of the cans fell on the floor

 **Loud Shriek** : allura please

 **Dancing Queen** : and she stood there, just looking at it with the most betrayed face i ever saw

 **Loud Shriek** : that's it you're never coming with me ever again

 **McMullet** : once my brother in law started crying because they changed the aisles and he got lost

 **Soft Boi** : how old was he

 **McMullet** : 26, that happened last week

 **One True Love** : this is so sad, allura play wonderwall

 **Loud Shriek** : AHSZHDHAAGZ

 **Soft Boi** : oh god

 **Sodium** : you called ?

 **One True Love** : dsckjcsdisjq

 **Loud Shriek** : [wheeze]

 **Dancing Queen** : stOP


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith : Player 2, McMullet, Gaylien  
> Lance : Player 1, One True Love, Taylor  
> Hunk : Soft Boi, Fr e sh a vo ca do  
> Pidge : Sodium  
> Allura : Dancing Queen, Queen Elizabeth, Xenomorph  
> Romelle : Loud Shriek, E.T., Croissant  
> Shiro : Space Man  
> Adam : Earthling

**Player 1** > **Player 2**

**Player** **1** : are you still in class

 **Player 2** : nope, just finished, why

 **Player 1** : okay can you come to the bathrooms on the second floor

 **Player 2** : ...lance is everything okay

 **Player 1** : no

 **Player 1** : i'm dissociating very hard right now

 **Player 2** : oh fuck

 **Player 2** : i'll be there in a minute keep texting me

 **Player 1** : i'm practically ghost-writing my own texts this is so weird

 **Player 1** : i'm not even sure i'm really typing right now

 **Player 1** : is that you running

 **Player 1** : pls don't run in the hallway i don't want you to break something

 

** Talk Slowly To Me **

**One True Love** : HMMMMM WE LOVE A PANIC ATTACK FIRST THING IN THE MORNING

 **Soft Boi** : oh no, are you okay ??

 **Soft Boi** : do you need me to take you to the infirmary or something ?

 **One True Love** : it's fine i'm getting better

 **One True Love** : only second hour and i'm already crying, what a life :)))

 **McMullet** : maybe you should tell someone about this, it's not like it's the first time

 **One True Love** : naaaah, what would i even say, that the possibility of dropping out is stressing me to the point that i can't sleep or eat normally, or that i started hyperventilating at the mere thought of failing my math test, or that my cursus is full of bullshit classes i don't need but somehow still have to attend to, or that i'm terrified to disappoint my family if i drop out from this exchange that costed them money and time and i'm not even sure i'm good enough for ?

 **McMullet** : um, yes, exactly that ???

 **Soft Boi** : holy shit dude you really need a break

 **Sodium** : more like a year off

 **Dancing Queen** : sweet Jesus, Lance, no wonder you're so tired

 **Loud Shriek** : sorry i'm late i just caught up but

 **Loud Shriek** : lance, they're right, maybe you should go to the counselor or something

 **One True Love** : ...okay i'm re-reading what i just typed and you may have a point

 **One True Love** : But Have You Considered : i don't actually deserve it

 **McMullet** : oh boy not this again

 **Dancing Queen** : i see what you're doing and i hate every part of it

 **Sodium** : look you don't deserve any less help that anyone else

 **Sodium** : you're not special buddy, you're struggling and there are people out there ready to help you out so let them do their freaking job maybe

 **One True Love** : how are you so small and yet so threatening

 **Sodium** : i'm sick leave me alone

 **One True Love** : fair

 **Soft Boi** : i second that, tho

 **Soft Boi** : you're a hard-working student who tries his best in everything, it's not like it's your fault the whole education system is wack

 **Loud Shriek** : more stress is probably the last thing you want right now, with the exams coming up and all

 **Dancing Queen** : true, and if you really don't want to see a counselor you can still come and vent to one of us !

 **Dancing Queen** : granted, we aren't professionnals, but at least you wouldn't have to bottle things up anymore

 **One True Love** : you guysare wholesome ido'nt deserve you

 **McMullet** : oh perfect he's crying now

 **Sodium** : wait are you guys together rn ?

 **McMullet** : someone had to go and ground him during his panic attack

 **McMullet** : now we're hiding on the roof of building c

 **Loud Shriek** : can i join you, i just finished history and i'm bored

 **One True Love** : urgh tell me you have tissues

 **Loud Shriek** : always

 **Soft Boi** : hey how about i eat with you today lance

 **One True Love** : you could do that ?

 **Soft Boi** : well technically i'm supposed to have study hall then but no one will notice if i'm not there

 **Soft Boi** : probably

 **One True Love** : you're the best, bud

 

**Space Expedition**

**Gaylien** : if i don't die of heart attack lance is probably going to kill me with his bare hands

 **Earthling** : if you die i'm gonna kill you

 **Space Man** : one day. i just want one day without high-schooler drama, is it too much to ask ?

 **Gaylien** : he's just,,,

 **Gaylien** : i just saw him cry today and i was physically ready to fight for him

 **Space Man** : hold your horse cow-boy

 **Space Man** : he was /crying/ ?

 **Gaylien** : he's having a bad day

 **Earthling** : keith stop being so emo this is distressing the baby

 **Gaylien** : wtf are you talking about what baby

 **Gaylien** : did you guys adopt a kid while i wasn't looking

 **Space Man** : i probably wasn't looking either

 **Earthling** : i'm talking about me

 **Earthling** : i'm the baby

 **Earthling** : you're distressing me

 **Earthling** : i have the emotional range of a fucking soup can, how am i supposed to handle any of these "feelings"

 **Space Man** : watching the two of you interact really feels like living in an alternate reality but hey can we go back to the point where lance was crying ?

 **Gaylien** : long story short he's being insecure about classes and other stuff and keeps bottling it up until he breaks in the bathroom at 9 am on a friday and asks for my help

 **Earthling** : sounds like this kid needs to relax a bit

 **Gaylien** : we tried to get him to talk to a counselor or something

 **Gaylien** : he doesn't seem too convinced

 **Space Man** : where are you right now

 **Gaylien** : cafeteria, eating with him and hunk, why

 **Space Man** : does lance have class after that

 **Gaylien** : hang on i'm asking

 **Gaylien** : no

 **Space Man** : okay so he should probably try to go the tech department and ask for professor thace

 **Earthling** : ooooh i remember him !

 **Earthling** : nice guy, not really down-to-earth but he's a former shrink so your boy could go cry his soul on an attentive shoulder

 **Space Man** : i was referring to the fact that he's in good terms with the administration and could probably help lance clearing up his schedule

 **Earthling** : yes, that too

 **Gaylien** : i'm telling him

 **Gaylien** : thanks shiro

 **Space Man** : :D

 **Gaylien** : and thanks adam, i guess

 **Earthling** : you're fucking welcome

 

**Talk Slowly To Me**

**Loud Shriek** : lance you're a zimellial

 **One True Love** : a /what/

 **Loud Shriek** : *zimnenial

 **Loud Shriek** : ffs

 **Loud Shriek** : *zillenial

 **Loud Shriek** : here we go

 **One True Love** : the fuck is that supposed to be

 **Sodium** : the grey zone between gen z and millenial

 **One True Love** : and how do you know that, pidgeon

 **Sodium** : i spend too much time on the internet

 **Loud Shriek** : :)

 **One True Love** : don't :) at me

 **Loud Shriek** : :))

 **Sodium** : this is lowkey terrifying

 **Loud Shriek** : :)))

 **One True Love** : stop it it gives me the creeps

 **Loud Shriek** : :))))

 **One True Love** : @Allura COME GET YOUR WOMAN

 **Loud Shriek** : hEY NOW

 **Sodium** : istg romelle the more i look at it the more i see multiple chins it's so fuckign unsettling

 

**Taylor** > **Queen Elizabeth**

**Taylor** : for the love of everyone's sanity, please

 **Taylor** : please ask her out

 **Taylor** : keith and i are crying at the sexual tension between you two

 **Queen Elizabeth** : take care of your own sexual tension with walker texas ranger >:c

 **Taylor** : DHSIJDIQSDI

 **Taylor** : first of all i'm totally stealing that name

 **Taylor** : and second of all wdym sexual tension

 **Queen Elizabeth** : i honestly can't tell if you're in denial or just very very dense

 **Queen Elizabeth** : plus you can't "second of all" a "first of all"

 **Taylor** : just watch me

 **Taylor** : but seriously do something

 **Queen Elizabeth** : Alright.

 

**Xenomorph** > **E.T.**

**Xenomorph** : Romelle would you like to do something together ? go out ?

 **E.T.** : eh, sure, sounds good

 **Xenomorph** : how about sunday ?

 **E.T.** : i just checked and it's supposed to rain sunday so... at my place ?

 **E.T.** : oh let's watch megamind we haven't seen it in so long

 **Xenomorph** : good for me !

 

**Queen Elizabeth** > **Taylor**

**Queen Elizabeth** : Done !

 

**E.T.** > **Xenomorph**

**E.T.** : wait aren't you out of town

 **Xenomorph** : right now yes but i'll be back tomorrow evening

 **E.T.** : oh alright

 

**Taylor** > **Queen Elizabeth**

**Taylor** : so ??? what did she say ???

 **Queen Elizabeth** : she said yes obviously

 **Queen Elizabeth** : it's not like we haven't been spending most of our time together since we were in diapers

 **Taylor** : fair enough

 **Taylor** : so you have a date then :DD

 **Queen Elizabeth** : ...Wait

 **Taylor** : aLLURA I SWEAR TO EVERYTHING THATS HOLY

 

 ** Xenomorph  ** > ** E.T. **

**Xenomorph** : I meant as a date

 **E.T.** : oh

 **E.T.** : OH

 

**Croissant** > **Fr e sh a vo ca do**

**Croissant** : HUNK ALLURA IS ASKING ME OUT WHAT DO I DO

 **Fr e sh a vo ca do** : WHAT

 **Fr e sh a vo ca do** : WHY ARE YOU TELLING ME THIS

 **Croissant** : I DUNNO JUST HELP ME OUT

 **Fr e sh a vo ca do** : AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

 **Croissant** : /AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA/

 **Fr e sh a vo ca do** : DO YOU WANT TO DATE HER ???

 **Croissant** : HUM ?? THIS IS ALLURA WE'RE TALKING ABOUT

 **Croissant** : OBVIOUSLY

 **Fr e sh a vo ca do** : THEN TELL HER SO ???

 **Croissant** : OKAY

 

**Xenomorph** > **E.T.**

**Xenomorph** : ...Romelle ?

 **Xenomorph** : your silence is kind of freaking me out

 **E.T.** : SORRY

 **E.T.** : i mean

 **E.T.** : sorry

 **E.T.** : i mean yes i woud totally go on a date with you

 **Xenomorph** : oh good !

 **Xenomorph** : you got me worried for a moment here

 **E.T.** : sorry i just had to panic with someone but usually you're the one i'm panicking with and it would have been weird

 **Xenomorph** : valid

 **E.T.** : i'm shaking a little i think i need to lay down

 **Xenomorph** : oh wow did i do such a strong impression on you ?

 **E.T.** : ahah yeah

 **E.T.** : also i just realized that starting dating doesn't change anything from usual

 **Xenomorph** : i mean i hope i can kiss you ? and hold your hand ? and give each other pet names ? and be generally overly sweet over each-other to the point keith starts making gagging noises ?

 **E.T.** : babe we already do all of those things

 **Xenomorph** : ... have we been dating this whole time and didn't notice

 **E.T.** : omg

 **E.T.** : talk about useless lesbians

 **Xenomorph** : smh we're a disaster

 **E.T.** : eeeh i'll take this disaster over boring allura-less life any day

 **Xenomorph** : aw babe <3

 **E.T.** : <3

 **E.T.** : okay for real tho i really need to lay down


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith : Player 2, McMullet, Gaylien  
> Lance : Player 1, Water Lance, One True Love  
> Hunk : Soft Boi, Hunkey Bar, Wall.e  
> Pidge : Sodium, XANA  
> Allura : Dancing Queen  
> Romelle : Loud Shriek  
> Shiro : Space Man  
> Adam : Earthling

**Player 2** > **Player 1**

**Player 2** : lance where did you go

 

**Water Lance** > **Hunkey Bar**

**Water Lance** : HOLY MOTHER OF EVERYTHING

 **Hunkey Bar** : WHAT IS HAPPENING WHY IS EVERYONE YELLING AT ME TODAY

 **Water Lance** : wait who yelled at you, do i need to defend your honor

 **Hunkey Bar** : nah bro romelle got asked out by allura and she needed to vent

 **Water Lance** : oh shit so that's why allura left me on read

 **Water Lance** : nice to know it worked out

 **Hunkey Bar** : kay so what is up with you then

 **Water Lance** : OMG OMG OKAY SO

 **Water Lance** : after you left to go to class keith took me to that guy in the science building to talk about my schedule, right

 **Hunkey Bar** : right

 **Water Lance** : so we get there, get the stuff done

 **Water Lance** : i'm free from grammar class btw which, nice

 **Hunkey Bar** : niCE

 **Water Lance** : yeah

 **Water Lance** : and so we're making our way back to the main building and keith is showing me how to do these signs i couldn't figure out wednesday

 **Hunkey Bar** : wait nothing to do with anything but keith knows we made an ASL group ?

 **Water Lance** : i think ? he didn't mention anything about tho

 **Water Lance** : and anyway i just asked him randomly how he signed tarantula so there wasn't much context here

 **Hunkey Bar** : ...why would you want to know how to sign tarantula

 **Water Lance** : any word is important when you learn a new language buddy

 **Hunkey Bar** : true

 **Hunkey Bar** : anyway, carry on

 **Water Lance** : right

 **Water Lance** : so we're minding our own business and jaMES FUCKING GRIFFIN thinks it's clever to come to us and pick up a fight w keith

 **Water Lance** : i think he's still not over the punch from last time

 **Water Lance** : and he says, being the loud bitch he is,

 **Water Lance** : "hEy WhAtS tHe SiGn FoR fAgGoT ?"

 **Hunkey Bar** : okay first this took you way too long to type

 **Hunkey Bar** : and wtf why would he do that

 **Water Lance** : it's for the emphasis

 **Water Lance** : and he's being an asshole that's why

 **Water Lance** : but that's not the intersting part

 **Water Lance** : because kEITH FREAKIN FLIPPED HIM OFF AND THEN LICKED HIS FINGER VERY SLOWLY

 **Hunkey Bar** : whAT

 **Water Lance** : I'M SHAKING WHY WOULD HE DO THAT

 **Hunkey Bar** : dude what happened after that

 **Water Lance** : what do you think

 **Water Lance** : obviously i had to walk away or else i would have spontaneously caught fire

 **Hunkey Bar** : i'msorry i'm jus tlaughing way too hard rn

 **Water Lance** : hunk it's not funny i'm having a crisis here

 **Hunkey Bar** : ohdamn

 **Hunkey Bar** : awakening ?

 **Water Lance** : nah i did that three years ago i've been out and proud for a while

 **Hunkey Bar** : okay good

 **Hunkey Bar** : but then what's the problem

 **Water Lance** : my best friend is fucking hot

 **Hunkey Bar** : i'm crying this is amazing

 **Water Lance** : HUNK

 **Hunkey Bar** : give me a sec i'll be right back

 

**Player 1** > **Player 2**

**Player 1** : hey yess sorry i'm still here i'll be back in a minute

 **Player 2** : alright ? i'm going to the library

 **Player 1** : i'll meet yout here :)

 

**Wall.e** > **XANA**

**Wall.e** : pidge be honest

 **Wall.e** : do i look like a couple counselor ?

 **XANA** : what ? why ? no

 **XANA** : wtf is going at school when i'm not there playing vigilante

 **Wall.e** : alright nvm go back to sleep little friend

 **XANA** : i'll do exactly that but not because you told me

 **Wall.e** : alright you do you <3

 **XANA** : eurgh affection

 **XANA** : <3 too i guess

 **XANA** : see you tomorrow at lance's place

 

**Space Expedition**

**Gaylien** : quick question, does ":)" look passive-agressive to you

 **Space Man** : if your name is adam, yes

 **Earthling** : i deserved that i guess

 **Space Man** : in any other case, probably not

 **Gaylien** : okay good

 **Space Man** : stop pining and talk to him this is honestly painful to watch

 **Gaylien** : you're not my dad shiro i do what i want

 

**Hunkey Bar** > **Water Lance**

**Hunkey Bar** : aight i'm back

 **Water Lance** : what took you so long

 **Hunkey Bar** : just made sure pidge wasn't dying

 **Hunkey Bar** : anyway what took YOU so long

 **Water Lance** : wat

 **Hunkey Bar** : it took you almost four weeks to realize that keith was hot

 **Hunkey Bar** : i noticed

 **Hunkey Bar** : allura noticed

 **Hunkey Bar** : pidge noticed

 **Hunkey Bar** : everyone noticed

 **Water Lance** : in my defense I Was Aware Of That Fact

 **Hunkey Bar** : then why

 **Water Lance** : i wasn't aware he was /my type/

 **Hunkey Bar** : you have a type now ?

 **Water Lance** : well apparently ??? since i'm into sassy bad kids who lick their fingers sensually to fluster bullies ????

 **Hunkey Bar** : alright calm down i'm not sure i want to hear your fantasies about keith's fingers

 **Hunkey Bar** : and i wouldn't consider him a "bad kid" tbh, he's the softest guy i know

 **Water Lance** : he has an attitude

 **Water Lance** : and how can i trust you about keith being soft when you think james is "a decent guy" anyway

 **Hunkey Bar** : THAT WAS ONE TIME

 **Water Lance** : THAT WAS LIKE TWO DAYS AGO

 **Water Lance** : and btw you're the softest guy you know, sorry i don't make the rules

 **Hunkey Bar** : wait why would i count myself ?

 **Hunkey Bar** : WAIT NO YOU'RE AVOID THE POINT

 **Water Lance** : GOTTA GO KEITH IS WAITING FOR ME TO COME BACK

 **Hunkey Bar** : smh running away frm your problems won't make them disappear

 **Hunkey Bar** : anyway good luck bro

 **Water Lance** : thx bro

 **Hunkey Bar** : BRO

 **Water Lance** : BRO <3

 

**Talk Slowly To Me**

**Sodium** : is it just me or everyone is awfully quiet tonight

 **Soft Boi** : i thought you went to bed ?

 **Sodium** : it's barely six

 **Sodium** : i'm bored

 **Soft Boi** : then sleep ??

 **Sodium** : No.

 **Soft Boi** : understandable have a good day

 **Dancing Queen** : hi yes hello i just came back from the cemetary, there wasn't any cell service

 **Dancing Queen** : also i have a girlfriend now

 **Loud Shriek** : what do you mean "now", i thought we agreed we've been dating all along

 **McMullet** : girlfriend ?

 **Dancing Queen** : :D

 **Loud Shriek** : :D

 **McMullet** : oh

 **One True Love** : ow keith that was an unnecessary agressive high five

 **One True Love** : hi guys

 **One True Love** : btw congrats ladies !! i knew you could do it allura !!!

 **Dancing Queen** : thank you Lance ! :D

 **Sodium** : this is absolutely wholesome

 **Soft Boi** : are you crying

 **Sodium** : no but almost

 **Sodium** : i'm still very hormonal don't look at me

 **One True Love** : is everyone still good with tomorrow night ?

 **Sodium** : i need your address

 

_**One True Love** sent (1) map(s)_

 

 **Soft Boi** : you want me to bring anything else beside pizza ?

 **McMullet** : more pizza

 **Loud Shriek** : keith why are you like this

 **Soft Boi** : no wait let the man speak

 **McMullet** : jsdkhqdhq

 **McMullet** : just,,,

 **McMullet** : hunk's homemade pizza is so good, sue me

 **Soft Boi** : see lance this right there was what i was talking about

 **One True Love** : sure, okay

 **McMullet** : what ?

 **One True Love** : NOTHING

 **One True Love** : pidge, you bringing some games ?

 **Sodium** : obvi

 **Loud Shriek** : i volunteer to bring movies

 **McMullet** : no harry potter

 **Dancing Queen** : no harry potter

 **Loud Shriek** : aww...

 **Sodium** : Let The Girl Have Her Wizard Dammit

 **Dancing Queen** : she already has the princess, isn't it enough ?

 **Loud Shriek** : sHDIZHEEIZEUGF

 **McMullet** : fuck i forgot something brb

 

**Space Expedition**

**Gaylien** : btw i'm not sleeping at home tomorrow night

 **Earthling** : ok

 **Earthling** : kashi is asking where you plan on going

 **Gaylien** : slumber party with the squad

 **Earthling** : i will pay you to never say squad unironically ever again

 **Gaylien** : deal

 **Gaylien** : what is shiro doing

 **Earthling** : driving us home from the base he can't text

 **Gaylien** : ok don't crash the car

 **Earthling** : come on i'm not even the one driving this time

 **Earthling** : have some faith in your brother

 **Gaylien** : he burned himself with his coffee spoon this morning when you weren't looking

 **Earthling** : ...jesus christ remind me why i'm about to marry him again

 **Gaylien** : because you two are disgustingly in love and very dysfunctional when away from one another

 **Earthling** : shit u rite

 

**Talk Slowly To Me**

**McMullet** : fixed it

 **One True Love** : so i was thinking

 **Sodium** : woah congrats

 **One True Love** : keep your salt

 **One True Love** : hush now gregory, i am searching

 **One True Love** : what would you guys think of a pillow fort

 **Loud Shriek** : username

 **Dancing Queen** : !!!!

 **Soft Boi** : oh hell yes

 **Sodium** : this is the best words i heard all night

 **McMullet** : i could bring some blankets

 **One True Love** : you don't have to

 

_**McMullet** sent (1) picture(s)_

 

 **One True Love** : wow that's a lot of blankets

 **McMullet** : military blankets

 **Loud Shriek** : are those shiro's or adam's

 **Loud Shriek** : because there is no way i touch one of adam's again

 **Loud Shriek** : they sting !! they're so ?????

 **Loud Shriek** : i don't even have a term to describe them

 **Soft Boi** : that bad ?

 **McMullet** : it's pretty much being wrapped up in sandpaper

 **One True Love** : /why/

 **McMullet** : he refuses to use softener

 **McMullet** : shiro's blankets, in the other hand...

 **Loud Shriek** : i have a term for these

 **Loud Shriek** : fuzzy

 **Loud Shriek** : they're so soft, you can tell they've been used a lot

 **One True Love** : who are even shiro and adam in the first place ?? i'm lost

 **McMullet** : my brother and my brother-in-law

 **One True Love** : wait wait wait

 **One True Love** : shiro as in takashi shirogane the youngest spationaut in training ever ?

 **McMullet** : ...yes ?

 **One True Love** : and adam as in adam frasier his team-mate and mission control ?

 **McMullet** : yes ??

 **One True Love** : holy shit

 **Dancing Queen** : Lance are you okay ?

 **Soft Boi** : i guess he had lot of realizations today

 **Loud Shriek** : i just came home bandor says hi

 **Soft Boi** : hi bandor !

 **One True Love** : ANYWAY back on the topic of blankets keith actually we could use a few more

 **McMullet** : i'm definitely bringing the soft ones, i just cut myself on adam's

 **Dancing Queen** : i'm so glad i'm coming back just in time to see you guys

 **Dancing Queen** : and then right the next day : date !

 **Loud Shriek** : megamind megamind megamind megamind meg-

 **McMullet** : one track mind

 **Loud Shriek** : gotta keep my priorities in order :p

 **McMullet** : true

 **One True Love** : is pidge ghosting or...

 **Soft Boi** : she probably fell asleep along the way

 **Loud Shriek** : i hope she took her glasses off

 **McMullet** : btw have you guys ever noticed those aren't prescription glasses

 **McMullet** : why is she wearing glasses if she doesn't need them

 **Soft Boi** : she's cute with them

 **Dancing Queen** : The Aesthetic™

 **One True Love** : it looks good on her

 **Loud Shriek** : pretty eyes, much sparkle

 **McMullet** : romelle let her lizard brain speak

 **Loud Shriek** : username

 **One True Love** : nope no more lizards in my good jewish server

 **McMullet** : uh, i did the chat room

 **Dancing Queen** : i thought you were christian..?

 **Loud Shriek** : i thought you were american

 **One True Love** : ...romelle no you're the lesbian here

 **One True Love** : and i'm cuban

 **Soft Boi** : this conversation is a train wreck

 **Dancing Queen** : Coran got hit by a train once

 **One True Love** : that's it, i'm going to sleep


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith : Player 2, McMullet, Gaylien, Keep  
> Lance : Player 1, One True Love  
> Hunk : Soft Boi, Wild Goose  
> Pidge : Sodium, Carrier Pigeon  
> Allura : Dancing Queen, Swan's Lake  
> Romelle : Loud Shriek, W.Woodpecker  
> Shiro : Space Man, Shirt  
> Adam : Earthling  
> Krolia : Kroll

**Talk Slowly To Me**

**One True Love** : good morning america i have one question

 **One True Love** : wait no i have two questions

 **Sodium** : lance its 7 am on a saturday morning, with all my love and respect, stfu

 **Soft Boi** : why are you guys up it's way too early

 **Sodium** : i've been up for two hours that's what happens when you go to bed at 6

 **Dancing Queen** : morning to you too beautiful human beings

 **Dancing Queen** : what is your question Lance ?

 **One True Love** : hi lura :D

 **One True Love** : ok first of all is anyone any form of homophobic because if it's the case we're gonna have a problem

 **Sodium** : only as a form of self-hate

 **Dancing Queen** : hold on i'm asking my trans girlfriend

 **Dancing Queen** : Romelle are we any form of homophobic

 **Loud Shriek** : ...yes

 **Dancing Queen** : yes Lance we're homophobic

 **Soft Boi** : you know you should probably have asked that way sooner, now you're stuck with this group no matter what

 **McMullet** : the only homophobic thing here is the unholy hour y'all wake up to

 **Loud Shriek** : god southern keith is out on the hunt

 **One True Love** : you guys could have literally said no smh

 **One True Love** : anyway my question was

 **One True Love** : do we have an lgbt club or something at school ? now that i have cleared my schedule i have to find things to do

 **McMullet** : uhh

 **McMullet** : there is one but,,,

 **Dancing Queen** : lotor founded it :/

 **One True Love** : who tf is lotor

 **Soft Boi** : he's the son of the principal

 **One True Love** : ...the kid with flawless hair who is always fighting authority ?

 **Sodium** : we said lotor not keith

 **One True Love** : keith's hair is a crime against humanity what are you talking about

 **McMullet** : i will break your legs lance

 **One True Love** : fite me

 **Soft Boi** : could you guys not,,, flirt,,, so early in the morning

 **McMullet** : w h a t

 **One True Love** : sjkdhqkeed hUNK

 **Loud Shriek** : i'm going back to sleep you weirdos

 **Soft Boi** : me too see you tonight

 **Sodium** : but yeah lance back to what you were saying, lotor is the president of the lgbt club

 **One True Love** : okay but what about him, is he a dick or what

 **Dancing Queen** : not really ? he's doing his best and to his credit the life on campus has been a lot more enjoyable for the queer community since he came around

 **One True Love** : then what ?

 **McMullet** : he's creeoy

 **McMullet** : *creepy

 **Sodium** : he has some trouble making a distinction between good and bad and that's

 **Sodium** : Not Okay

 **Sodium** : i was part of it for some time but then a lot of bullshit happened

 **One True Love** : what kind of bullshit

 **Sodium** : ace discourse

 **Sodium** : the troublemakers got kicked out but i don't feel safe there anymore

 **One True Love** : that sucks :///

 **McMullet** : was in it for a while too but it's too busy, i mean that's good that there are so many gay kids out there but like

 **McMullet** : personal space is a thing that exists and i like mine the way i like my coffee

 **One True Love** : ..?

 **McMullet** : without people in it

 **One True Love** : zkdhbsd valid

 **Dancing Queen** : i personally don't go there anymore because we used to date

 **One True Love** : lotor's your ex ??

 **Dancing Queen** : hhh

 **Dancing Queen** : it's still weird between us so uh...

 **McMullet** : to be fair they have a lot to propose if you decide to join

 **McMullet** : you get discounts to see gay movies

 **One True Love** : NICE

 **Dancing Queen** : there was also something about a chariot for pride..?

 **Dancing Queen** : i don't know if they actually followed through with that idea tho

 **Sodium** : they did, actually, acxa and her crew made sure of it

 **One True Love** : ... ronnie's gf is named acxa

 **McMullet** : how many acxas do you know

 **One True Love** : holy shit veronica is probably part of the club

 **One True Love** : i should have asked her

 **One True Love** : i'm gonna ask her

 **McMullet** : hey i just found my deck of cards against humanity do you want me to bring it tonight

 **One True Love** : have i told you how much i love you sometimes

 

**Space Expedition**

**Earthling** : HOLY SHIT I HEARD THAT FROM THE BASEMENT

 **Earthling** : shiro can you check on your banshee of a brother

 **Space Man** : kay

 

**Talk Slowly To Me**

**Dancing Queen** : i finished packing, we'll hit the road very soon

 **Dancing Queen** : i'm glad we're coming home

 **One True Love** : how did the visit go btw

 **Dancing Queen** : as uneventful as it can be

 **Dancing Queen** : but i feel lighter

 **One True Love** : that's good :)

 **Sodium** : i'm hacking into the city's files, do you guys wanna know anything

 **One True Love** : pidge why are you hacking into the city's files

 **Sodium** : it's 7 on a saturday and i'm B O R E D

 **Sodium** : also my dad dared me to and matt keeps saying that's i'm adopted so i'm checking

 **McMullet** : so uh i just wrecked my throat

 **One True Love** : ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **McMullet** : shut your fuck this is your fault

 **One True Love** : WHAT

 **One True Love** : HOW IS IT MY FAULT WHAT DID I EVEN DO

 **McMullet** : smh anyway

 **One True Love** : KEITH WHAT DID I DO

 **McMullet** : ANYWAY

 **Dancing Queen** : i'm gone for ONE minute, people

 **Sodium** : could you all just chill sometimes

 **One True Love** : do i look like a chill person to you

 **McMullet** : ^^^^

 **Sodium** : i wish you could hear me sigh

 

**Space Expedition**

**Gaylien** : ..........anyway

 **Space Man** : seriously keith you need to calm the fuck down

 **Earthling** : so wtf was that shriek all about

 **Space Man** : he's pining so hard

 **Earthling** : tell me something i don't know

 **Gaylien** : you two are the worst parental figures ever

 **Gaylien** : no wonder i turned out like that

 **Earthling** : what, a gay mess ?

 **Earthling** : or an anxious emo ?

 **Gaylien** : adam i WILL fight you

 **Space Man** : has anyone seen my arm ?

 **Earthling** : sigh

 **Earthling** : when is krolia coming home again

 **Gaylien** : this family is a nightmare

 

**Player 1 > Player 2**

**Player 1** : seriously dude are you okay

 **Player 2** : 'm fine i just yelled too loud

 **Player 2** : just glad i didn't hear myself

 **Player 1** : /why/

 **Player 2** : /because/

 **Player 1** : i hate u

 **Player 2** : no u don't

 **Player 1** : ...no i don't

 

_**KatieH** added **KidlatG** , **AlluraA** and **RomelleY** to a groupchat_

_**KatieH** renamed the groupchat to **Away From Klancing Eyes**_

**KatieK** : today in "keith is not subtle" : his crush on lance

 **KidlatG** : oh worm

 **AlluraA** : hah so i was right about the sexual tension

 

_**KatieH** changed their pseudo to **Carrier Pigeon**_

_**Carrier Pigeon** changed **KidlatG** 's pseudo to **Wild Goose**_

_**Carrier Pigeon** changed **AlluraA** 's pseudo to **Swan's Lake**_

_**Carrier Pigeon** changed **RomelleY** 's pseudo to **W.Woodpecker**_

 

 **Swan's Lake** : birds names ? i like it

 **Wild Goose** : i particularly appreciate mine

 **W.Woodpecker** : for the love of god stop making my phone buzz

 **Swan's Lake** : oops sorry honey

 

**'Ganes Gone Wild**

**Shirt** : woah we haven't used this gc in a hot minute

 **Keep** : shiro don't you dare

 **Shirt** : watch me

 **Shirt** : mom, keith trashed his throat by yelling too high

 **Skroll** : What, why ??

 **Skroll** : Keith why were you screaming ???

 **Shirt** : he has a crush on that boy

 **Keep** : you're dead to me, mom please come back home so i can have competent adults around for once

 **Skroll** : Oh kiddo...

 **Skroll** : I told you to warm up before war cries

 **Skroll** : It goes for any kind of scream, really

 **Shirt** : anyway adam brought him to the ER just in case he ruptured a vocal chord or something

 **Keep** : i'M FINE OMG

 **Skroll** : Istg you guys are the reason i'm having white hair at my age

 **Shirt** : haH THAT'S SO FUNNY :))

 **Skroll** : Fjdkshs sorry shiro, you know what i meant

 **Skroll** : Anyway, good news ! i'm almost done with work, so i should leave japan in a couple of weeks instead of a month !

 **Keep** : !!!!!! :D

 **Shirt** : holy shit mom you broke him

 **Skroll** : :)

 **Skroll** : Let adam know this time, okay

 **Shirt** : of course, last time was traumatic enough for everyone

 **Keep** : they let me out, my throat is fine

 **Keep** : and i told adam

 **Keep** : he says "THERE IS A GOD IN THIS WORLD AND SHE HEARD MY PRAYERS"

 **Keep** : the nurse is glaring at him i think she's planning a murder

 **Skroll** : Oh by the way i adopted a dog

 **Shirt** : what.

 **Keep** : w h a t

 **Keep** : mom what

 **Keep** : mom come back

 **Shirt** : mom stop ghosting us we can see that you read this

 **Shirt** : MOM


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith : McMullet, Frodo  
> Lance : One True Love  
> Hunk : Soft Boi  
> Pidge : Sodium  
> Allura : Dancing Queen  
> Romelle : Loud Shriek  
> Shiro : Shirogone, Gandalf  
> Adam : Earthling, ADAM

**Talk Slowly To Me**

**Soft Boi** : lance which one is your building, right or left

 **One True Love** : left one

 **One True Love** : fifth floor, the door in front of the escalator

 **Sodium** : i'll be there in a minute

 **One True Love** : did matt drop you or you came by yourself ?

 **Sodium** : matt's new name is uber

 **Soft Boi** : fair enough

 **McMullet** : i'll be late

 **One True Love** : dw the party doesn't start until kesha walks in

 **McMullet** : what party

 **McMullet** : and who tf is kesha

 **Sodium** : the metaphorical party keith

 **One True Love** : you don't know who kesha is ??? :O

 **McMullet** : i feel attacked i'm not coming anymore bye

 **One True Love** : NOPE NO NUH-UH I'LL GET YOU HERE MYSELF IF I HAVE TO BUT WE'RE GONNA HAVE A TALK ABOUT YOUR MUSIC TASTE YOU ABSOLUTE CAVEMAN

 **Soft Boi** : kesha is not /that/ good

 **One True Love** : betrayed, once again, by the man i swore to love,

 **Sodium** : blue boi stop being dramatic over hunk and open up

 **One True Love** : coming

 **Sodium** : o shit keith you were right hunk's pizzas smell like heaven

 **McMullet** : i know, i could cry

 **One True Love** : when did you get a taste of those anyway

 **McMullet** : we used to go to the yellow lion a lot with adam at some point

 **Soft Boi** : ooooh yeah

 **Soft Boi** : i remember the first time shiro joined you guys the poor guy started weeping over a regina

 **McMullet** : ...i told shiro, he said to expect us at the restaurant someday next week

 **Loud Shriek** : y e e t i'm back !!!

 **Sodium** : hey romelle

 **Loud Shriek** : hi

 **One True Love** : romelle !!! when do you think you'll come over !!!

 **Loud Shriek** : lance !!! i'll be here in an hour or so !!!

 **Sodium** : say hello to your bro for me

 **Loud Shriek** : just did, he kisses you c:

 

_**Sodium** sent (1) photo(s)_

 

 **Sodium** : I Am Pleased

 **One True Love** : i have seen you exactly twice so far but this is the derpiest face i've even watched you make

 **McMullet** : a gremlin full of surprises

 **Loud Shriek** : pidge ? being soft for someone ? it's more likely than you think

 **Sodium** : shut up let me have my platonic bromance with my main guy

 **Dancing Queen** : Yes Hello I Have Arrived, Open Up

 **One True Love** : YES I KNOW IT'S YOU GIVE ME A SECOND

 **McMullet** : how do you know

 **One True Love** : she's blasting cheap thrills through the door

 **One True Love** : it could only be her or veronica

 **One True Love** : and veronica is sleeping at axca's dorm tonight so there's no way she'd come back

 **McMullet** : i feel out of the loop and i don't like this

 **Loud Shriek** : same here

 **Soft Boi** : get there already ! i wanna see your beautiful faces !!!

 **McMullet** : hunk, hitting me in the feels since 1999

 **Dancing Queen** : a big mood

 **One True Love** : 10/10 would recommend

 **Loud Shriek** : perfectly valid

 **Soft Boi** : shut up, all of you

 

_**Sodium** sent (1) photo(s)_

 

 **Sodium** : a blushing man

 **Loud Shriek** : a fitting username if i do say so myself

 **McMullet** : okay i'm omw

 **One True Love** : final-fucking-ly

 **One True Love** : i'm putting on an animated series while we wait

 **Dancing Queen** : i will throw hands if it's not steven universe

 **One True Love** : pls don't fight me we're too pretty for that

 

**Gandalf** > **Frodo**

**Gandalf** : you sure you don't want me to take you over there ?

 **Frodo** : my answer didn't change since i left home two minutes ago

 **Gandalf** : it's just that it's pretty far

 **Frodo** : shiro relax it's a 20 minutes bus ride i got this

 **Frodo** : why are you so stressed about this seriously

 **Gandalf** : excuse me for wanting to make sure my little brother is in the best conditions possible to have his first sleepover ever

 **Frodo** : ...i can't tell if you're genuinely worried or just fucking with me

 **Gandalf** : to be fair a little of both

 **Frodo** : i will steal your kneecaps in your sleep takashi

 **Gandalf** : come back to us alive !!

 **Frodo** : that's it i'm calling adam

 

**ADAM** > **Shirogone**

**ADAM** : stop sulking and come downstairs i'm taking you to taco bell

 

** Talk Slowly To Me **

**Sodium** : omg keith i swear you have to get your ass in here

 **One True Love** : I WILL BELIEVE IT WHEN I HEAR IT

 **Dancing Queen** : how many confirmations do you need

 **One True Love** : WHEN I HEAR IT

 **McMullet** : what's going on

 **Soft Boi** : we're watching trollhunters and one of the characters has your voice it's so funny

 **One True Love** : and obviously i'm the only one who can't tell if they're serious or not because i've never heard the sound of your voice

 **Sodium** : wait seriously that's what it is about

 **One True Love** : the fucker only texts or signs to me >:c

 **Soft Boi** : ...keith why do you provoke him

 **McMullet** : bitch got mad at me the first day for not replying

 **One True Love** : jERK

 **One True Love** : but true

 **One True Love** : but also how was i supposed to know you could hear nothing of what i was saying

 **Loud Shriek** : i feel like i'm losing so much information right now, what is happening

 **One True Love** : OKAY STORY TIME

 **Sodium** : oh no

 **McMullet** : you're doing this crusade on your own

 **One True Love** : fair enough

 **One True Love** : first day of school, lunch time, i know absolutely nobody except my own sister and i don't feel like being a leech and tag along her group of friends

 **One True Love** : so i'm looking for a spot to eat on my own because i'm thinking, oh it's the first day, i'm the new kid, i can deal one lunch by myself

 **One True Love** : i see an empty table so i'm all like, yay, goblin time, this is my spot from now on

 **One True Love** : except kEITH DECIDES TO SPOIL MY PLANS OF HAVING A PERFECTLY CALM MEAL BY SITTING AT THAT SPECIFIC TABLE

 **McMullet** : in my defense i didn't see or hear you

 **One True Love** : now i know but then i was just "the nerve of that guy" because it's the first day, i'm very tired, i've been in this country for two months and i'm not about to get my place stolen by a rude white boy

 **McMullet** : ...i'm asian

 **Sodium** : sjqkdqdsk

 **One True Love** : I DIDN'T KNOW AT THE TIME KEITH

 **One True Love** : so i decide, fuck it, and i go to sit at the same table anyway

 **One True Love** : and i basically spend the whole lunch glaring at him

 **One True Love** : and he fucking

 **One True Love** : ignores me

 **McMullet** : I DIDN'T SEE YOU OKAY

 **One True Love** : /BITCH IS YOU BLIND/

 **Soft Boi** : okay breathe you two you aren't even in the same room

 **One True Love** : smh anyway i come back the next day and i'm a little more calm and less tired so i'm all like hey maybe that kid isn't so bad i mean he never acknowledged my presence but he seems cool in an edgy kind of way maybe i can make a friend

 **One True Love** : take note that i can make a friend out of anybody

 **Dancing Queen** : oh we are well aware

 **Dancing Queen** : you somehow charmed all of us in barely a week, i still don't know how actually

 **One True Love** : thanks for reminding me that i'm still charismatic

 **Loud Shriek** : to be fair keith has the sensibility of a brick wall

 **McMullet** : kindly fuck all the way off romelle

 **One True Love** : anyway i come back to the same table and keith is there again so i sit in front of him and say something along the lines of "hey i'm lance i'm new what's good hot stuff" and he's not even looking at me in the eye

 **One True Love** : stop typing keith i know you were reading my lips, I KNOW i'm sorry for being so dense

 **McMullet** : ...

 **One True Love** : back to the story ! i'm saying that and he doesn't answer so i think "woah rude this guy sure has a resting bitch face" plus he's pulling out his phone and typing and generally ignoring me so yeah i'm not losing anymore time with him but then he flips his phone and i read "srry can't hear you cn you type instd"

 **One True Love** : a terrible first impression, let me tell you

 **McMullet** : shut up i was eating it's hard to type with only one hand

 **Dancing Queen** : Keith oh my god...

 **One True Love** : anyway that's when it clicks that keith isn't ignoring me he just can't hear me at all and i'm feeling very stupid and frustrated and confused so

 **One True Love** : oh by the way i never apologized for that KEITH I WAS SUCH A DICK TO YOU I'M SORRY YOU'RE VERY COOL I'M JUST TOO PROUD TO STEP DOWN SOMETIMES :((

 **McMullet** : DHsuFDSHDF SHUT UP AND FINISH YOUR DAMN STORY

 **Soft Boi** : username

 **Loud Shriek** : username

 **Loud Shriek** : hAH

 **One True Love** : anyway i don't talk to him for a whole week because i'm Like That™ but then the next monday i get out my own phone and i'm like "hi sorry for last time anyway what's your name"

 **One True Love** : and he glares at me but he types "i'm keith" and i'm like oh okay i expected a dylan or a kyle some bullshit like that but no, he's keith, 17, and has never fucking learned how to type with one hand

 **McMullet** : i will kick your ass mcclain

 **One True Love** : so anyway that became our main way of communication so no i never heard him out loud

 **McMullet** : tbh i stuck to signing while i didn't have my aids bc i can't control the volume of my voice and when i got them back it just slipped out of my mind to just talk to you out loud

 **One True Love** : SO BACK TO THE MAIN POINT pidge allura and hunk swear steve palchuk from trollhunters sounds just like you and i can't believe it until i hear it

 **Soft Boi** : this is the best thing i ever read with my own two eyes

 **Dancing Queen** : why don't you trust me :(

 **One True Love** : because pidge is in the room and she has the means to corrupt you

 **Sodium** : fair

 **Dancing Queen** : fair

 **Soft Boi** : fair

 **McMullet** : i'm at the door

 **One True Love** : !!!

 

**Gandalf** > **Frodo**

**Gandalf** : how is it going

 **Frodo** : aren't you supposed to be on a date with adam

 **Gandalf** : he went to order he's not looking in my direction so i'm technically allowed to text you

 **Frodo** : this is getting ridiculous

 **Frodo** : anyway it's okay i guess

 **Frodo** : it's pretty fun

 **Frodo** : lance made me scream "I'M GONNA KICK YOUR BUTT, JERKFACE" for some reason and has been laughing ever since, hunk's pizza is definitely one reason to be alive, allura got a bloody nose from staying too close to the radiator, pidge is drawing plans to make a stable pillow fort and romelle just arrived

 **Frodo** : also your blankets have been adopted

 **Gandalf** : i'm proud of you kiddo

 **Frodo** : hm thanks

 

**Space Expedition**

**Earthling** : keith why is shiro crying on his phone what did you do


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith : McMullet, Gaylien  
> Lance : One True Love, Kobe  
> Hunk : Soft Boi, Wild Goose  
> Pidge : Sodium, Clone, Carrier Pigeon  
> Allura : Dancing Queen, Swan's Lake  
> Romelle : Loud Shriek, W.Woodpecker  
> Shiro : Space Man  
> Adam : Earthling  
> Veronica : Yeet  
> Matt : Original

**Clone > Original**

**Clone** : me and the lads are having an argument and i need your brilliant spirit to settle the debate

 **Original** : pidge ? calling me a brilliant spirit ? it's more likely than you think

 **Original** : btw gentle reminder from the motherboard to drink lots of water

 **Clone** : copy that but shut the hell your mouth and listen to me

 **Clone** : if androids happened to request freedom/human rights, should we give it to them ?

 **Clone** : i mean i get that we're talking about toasters with pretty faces but,,,

 **Original** : ...are you guys playing detroit become human ?

 **Clone** : ...yes

 **Original** : yeah that's what i thought

 **Original** : and i guess you're all for freeing our robots overlords

 **Clone** : you know too much about me matt i don't like it

 **Original** : don't play dumb i've seen you bond with the roomba

 **Clone** : aight

 **Original** : but anyway about your question

 **Original** : depends if they developed consciousness or something

 **Original** : cause if they did i mean that'd be epic like we'd have a society with non-human people running around how wild would that be

 **Original** : but on the other hand ??? they're machines ??? and they obvi learn over time and some AI are very close to passing the Turing test but like

 **Original** : who can tell if they really have free will and conscience, you feel me ???

 **Clone** : i feel u

 **Clone** : so yes if they prove they're not just following their program ?

 **Original** : /or/ if we implant them with a free will program

 **Clone** : i love the way you think but how the hell would that even work

 **Original** : idk it's just all hypotheses

 **Original** : anyway yes to free androids if they turn out to be free spirits and not just under the control of someone who's trying to build an army

 **Clone** : and here goes my sunday plan

 **Original** : dhebfzks you evil mastermind

 **Clone** : anyway thanks, keith and romelle have been arguing about it for half an hour

 **Original** : my pleasure

 

**Talk Slowly To Me**

**One True Love** : romelle where did you go :(

 **Loud Shriek** : asking your neighbor for some tea

 **McMullet** : smh you british heathen can't even live without your leaf juice

 **Loud Shriek** : shut your fuck you've been bombed during world war two >:p

 **McMullet** : I'M NOT JAPANESE ROMELLE

 **One True Love** : w h a t i s h a p p e n i n g

 **Soft Boi** : are they still fighting ? :(

 **One True Love** : :(((

 **Soft Boi** : nothing pancakes can't fix

 **McMullet** : i heard pancakes

 **One True Love** : hah

 **One True Love** : "heard"

 **McMullet** : look i turned my aid off so i wouldn't hear anymore bullshit but i can turn it back on just to spite you

 **Dancing Queen** : why are we texting

 **Dancing Queen** : you're literally in the next room just talk to us

 **Sodium** : while you guys were being salty about historical accuracy i ate the pancakes

 **One True Love** : WHAT

 **McMullet** : ...bitch

 **Sodium** : to be fair allura and hunk helped

 **Dancing** **Queen** : sorry can't hear any of this american nonsense over the sound of how amazing these pancakes are

 **Soft Boi** : they're both lying i kept some for you

 **One** **True** **Love** : username

 **One True Love** : my man

 **McMullet** : the only valid member in this fucking family

 **Soft** **Boi** : jndknfsd just get in here

 **Soft** **Boi** : romelle i kept you some

 **Loud** **Shriek** : thank you hunk, light of my life

 **Loud** **Shriek** : i'll eat them with my /tea/

 **McMullet** : OH FOR FUCK SAKE

 **One** **True** **Love** : here we go

 

**Kobe > Yeet**

**Kobe** : ronnie can i take your speakers ?? we're watching harry potter

 **Yeet** : Sure.

 **Yeet** : You having fun ?

 **Kobe** : i know it's only been a week but it's ride or die with these guys

 **Kobe** : they're the good stuff

 **Yeet** : Noice.

 **Yeet** : Remember to save some leftovers !

 **Kobe** : as a payment, right

 **Kobe** : although you seemed pretty happy to have an excuse to crash at acxa's, am i wrong

 **Yeet** : Shhh, the people can't know that I have a heart.

 **Kobe** : riiiiiight

 

**Clone > Original**

**Clone** : keith & romelle are still at each other's throats abt the android debate it's hilarious

 **Original** : it's past midnight ??

 **Clone** : /i know/

 **Clone** : they started calling each other names and i'm dying they're trying so hard to be historically inaccurate

 **Clone** : i know it's playful banter but they're so stupid i love them

 **Clone** : lance is dead in a corner

 **Original** : save him

 **Original** : did you do the pillow fort yet ?

 **Clone** : ya it's super comfy

 **Clone** : hunk helped with it it's amazing i swear it could go through a tornado or smth

 **Clone** : and we've been watching the first two harry potter movies under it

 

_**Clone** sent (3) photo(s)_

 

 **Clone** : leggy boi lance, keith hugging a pillow and pure hunk

 **Original** : gotta love three soft manz

 **Original** : i thought allura and romelle were w/ you ?

 

_**Clone** sent (1) photo(s)_

 

 **Original** : ...OH OKAY

 **Clone** : allura is pouting because of the film, says she's seen the series too many times

 **Clone** : so romelle decided to make up for it

 **Original** : uh yeAH I CAN SEE THAT

 **Clone** : they're sweet but like

 **Clone** : get outta there with your feelings

 **Clone** : to be fair hunk is a very good pillow

 **Original** : smh stop texting your old brother and go have fun with your friends

 **Clone** : what it's not like you're busy or anything

 **Original** : true but /outch/

 **Original** : also for once i'm trying to get a normal sleeping schedule

 **Clone** : well shit

 **Clone** : rest in pieces dear brother o' mine

 

**Space Expedition**

**Gaylien** : okay so uh

 **Gaylien** : remember how you told me not to scream or talk too loud for a few days

 **Gaylien** : throat related and stuff

 **Earthling** : ...yes ?

 **Space Man** : omg you broke your voice didn't you

 **Gaylien** : hm

 **Gaylien** : but lance is pity-cuddling me and romelle gave me some tea so i'm getting better

 **Gaylien** : she's so fucking smug about it i'm gonna punch her

 **Space** **Man** : don't punch romelle thank you very much her parents dine at home in a couple of days

 **Earthling** : i'm wheezing i'm sorry i'm imagining blanket burrito keith fuming with a mug of Relaxing Tea in his hands and an octopus-shaped lance squeezing the life out of him

 **Gaylien** : fuck right off ?

 **Earthling** : shiro don't try to hide i hear you laugh in the bathroom

 **Space** Man : i'm so sorry

 **Gaylien** : i have no longer sympathy for any of you

 

**Away From Klancing Eyes**

**Wild Goose** : guys keep quiet but

 

_**Wild Goose** sent (1) photo(s)_

 

 **Carrier Pigeon** : this is so gay allura play true love

 **Swan's Lake** : are they napping ?

 **W.Woodpecker** : who tf falls asleep during the chamber of secrets

 **Carrier Pigeon** : who tf falls asleep at /2am/

 **Wild Goose** : two boys,

 **Wild Goose** : cuddling in a blanket,

 **Wild Goose** : no feet appart cuz they're v gay

 **W.Woodpecker** : keith looked like he was about to combust all night

 **Swan's Lake** : you kinda have a part in this honey

 **Carrier Pigeon** : imma take keith's stuff off him for the night

 **Swan's Lake** : good idea, put it on the table maybe ? where he can find it

 **W.Woodpecker** : i dunno about you guys but i'm this close to crash

 **Wild Goose** : ...but your fingers are touching ?

 **W.Woodpecker** : ya

 **W.Woodpecker** : gnight

 **Wild Goose** : i'm gonna get a drink from the kitchen and then go to sleep too, anyone needs anything ?

 **Swan's Lake** : woter

 **Carrier Pigeon** : i don't feel like laying down yet, allura you're playing paper clip with me ?

 **Swan's Lake** : sure

 **Carrier Pigeon** : tubular, i'll get the switch


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith : McMullet, Gaylien, Player 2, Frodo  
> Lance : One True Love, Kobe, Player 1, Water Lance  
> Hunk : Soft Boi, Hunkey Bar  
> Pidge : Sodium, Carrier Pigeon, Gnome  
> Allura : Dancing Queen, Swan's Lake  
> Romelle : Loud Shriek, W.Woodpecker, Cinnamon Romelle  
> Shiro : Space Man, Gandalf  
> Adam : Earthling  
> Veronica : Yeet

**Talk Slowly To Me**

_**Sodium** sent (1) photo(s)_

 

 **Soft Boi** : lance nO

 **Sodium** : lance YES

 **Soft Boi** : PIDGE NO DON'T ENCOURAGE HIM

 

**Talk Slowly To Me**

**McMullet** : okay who the fuck wanna die ?

 **Soft Boi** : keith i tried to stop them i'm sorry

 **McMullet** : where the fuck is lance i'm about to tackle him and make him eat his carpet

 **One True Love** : oh boi

 **One True Love** : is this about the glass of water ?

 **McMullet** : WHAT DO YOU THINK

 **Loud Shriek** : he's dripping wet and there's an empty glass under the table so i'll take a wild guess and say it is about the glass of water

 **Dancing Queen** : good morning gentlemen what are we yelling about today

 **Soft Boi** : lance did the thing where you put stuff on cats to see if they'll wake up but he did it on keef

 **One True Love** : in my defense it was pidge's idea

 **Sodium** : TRAITOR

 **McMullet** : you're cancelled, both of you

 **One True Love** : will you forgive me if i bring coffee ?

 **McMullet** : ...

 **One True Love** : ??? :D

 **McMullet** : hhhhhhmmmmmmm

 **One True Love** : :3

 **McMullet** : fuck off

 **One True Love** : then die mad bitch

 **McMullet** : eat dirt

 

**Away From Klancing Eyes**

**Swan's Lake** : pidge i heard you sigh all the way from the coffee shop

 **Carrier Pigeon** : I Am Very Tired Of Them

 **W.Woodpecker** : don't act you weren't trying to set them up

 **Carrier Pigeon** : i'm doin this for the greater good

 **Swan's Lake** : chaotic good

 **Swan's Lake** : Lance wants to know what you guys want

 **Carrier Pigeon** : as much espresso shots as he's allowed to get

 **W.Woodpecker** : iced mocha

 **W.Woodpecker** : hunk says hot chocolate

 **W.Woodpecker** : and keith mumbled something offensive so i'm not repeating it

 **Carrier Pigeon** : hdskdhsk he wants a black coffee with a lot of sugar

 **Swan's Lake** : noted :D

 

**Player 2** > **Player 1**

**Player 2** : i stole one of your shirts

 **Player 1** : w h a t

 **Player 2** : what, did you expect me to stay drenched ?

 **Player 1** : yes

 **Player 1** : i mean no

 **Player 1** : you do you my dude, i'm just not sure they'll fit

 **Player 2** : why wouldn't they, you're way taller than me

 **Player 1** : yeah but you're like

 **Player 1** : thicker

 **Player 2** : dhkjfhsd WHAT

 **Player 1** : YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN

 **Player 2** : NO I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU SAYING

 **Player 1** : you know what forget i said anything, just do whatever

 

**Frodo** > **Gandalf**

**Frodo** : lance called me thick i dunno how to take that

 **Gandalf** : it is way to early for your gay panic

 **Frodo** : shiro it's eleven

 **Gandalf** : shut up i'm too old for this

 

**Talk Slowly To Me**

**Dancing Queen** : can someone go help Lance at the elevator ? i'm worried he'll bump into something and drop the coffee

 **McMullet** : yeah yeah

 **Dancing Queen** : thank youuu ~ i'll be right back !

 

**Gnome** > **Cinnamon Romelle**

_**Gnome** sent (1) video(s)_

 

 **Cinnamon Romelle** : i'm crying why are they like this

 **Gnome** : at least the coffee is safe

 **Cinnamon Romelle** : lol lance almost launched himself and keith into a wall and you're worried about the coffee ??

 **Gnome** : I NEED THE CAFFEINE ROMELLE

 **Gnome** : i'm getting out of the way i don't want them to catch me spying

 **Cinnamon Romelle** : show this to hunk :')

 **Gnome** : ye

 **Gnome** : where the hell are you anyway i haven't seen your face since i woke up

 **Cinnamon Romelle** : my make-up isn't going to apply itself

 **Gnome** : stab me with those wings

 **Cinnamon Romelle** : :D

 

**Water Lance** > **Hunkey Bar**

**Water Lance** : AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

 **Hunkey Bar** : sweet jesus i look away for /five seconds/

 **Hunkey Bar** : what did he do this time

 **Water Lance** : he's wearing one of my shirts and i'm kdfhfhkshfkf i got so flustered that i tripped out of the elevator

 **Hunkey Bar** : as a result of you putting a whole fricking glass of water in balance on his face to see if he would wake up, yes, i'm aware

 **Water Lance** : it was pidge's idea !!!

 **Water Lance** : smh anywaY

 **Hunkey Bar** : it's too early for this

 **Water Lance** : seriously ? it's past eleven

 **Hunkey Bar** : that's fair but also shut up

 **Water Lance** : alright fair enough x)

 

**Talk Slowly To Me**

**Dancing Queen** : I Am Bacc™ with the car :)

 **Loud Shriek** : take me away honey

 **Dancing Queen** : anything you want dear

 **McMullet** : that's gay

 **Loud Shriek** : i'm going on a date with my girlfriend of course it's gay

 **Dancing Queen** : don't expect us to answer the phone before monday morning ;)

 **One True Love** : WOW OKAY

 **Sodium** : tmi ladies

 **Soft Boi** : have fun !! see you on monday !!

 

**Space Expedition**

**Gaylien** : i'm coming home please wear pants

 **Earthling** : no promises

 **Space Man** : careful on your way home

 **Gaylien** : i'm taking the bus i have no say in the matter

 **Earthling** : die then

 **Space Man** : don't die !!

 

**Player 1** > **Player 2**

**Player 1** : KEITH YOU FORGOT YOUR AIDS HERE

 **Player 2** : shit fUCK i knew something was off

 **Player 1** : uh yeah the whole sound ??

 **Player 2** : i'm already almost home tho :/

 **Player 1** : i can bring them to you

 **Player 2** : don't bother just give them back at school tomorrow

 **Player 1** : don't be stupid you'll need them before lunch

 **Player 2** : it's alright really

 **Player 1** : i'm already on the way

 **Player 2** : why are you like this

 **Player 1** : shut up you know you like it

 

**Talk Slowly To Me**

**Sodium** : you have reached your destination

 **One True Love** : good to know :) hunk ?

 **Soft Boi** : almost there, i got home all right c:

 **One True Love** : okokok see you guys on wednesday then ?

 **Sodium** : yup

 **Soft Boi** : sure !

 

**Kobe** > **Yeet**

**Kobe** : so... i might have just met takashi shirogane himself

 **Yeet** : Oh, snap.

 **Kobe** : he was doing laundry

 **Yeet**  : Lol, what ?

 **Kobe** : i'm telling you everything when i get home


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith : McMullet, Gaylien, Player 2, Frodo, Samurai  
> Lance : One True Love, Player 1, Sharpshooter  
> Hunk : Soft Boi, SOMFT  
> Pidge : Sodium, Leprechaun  
> Shiro : Space Man, Gandalf  
> Adam : Earthling

**Gandalf** > **Frodo**

**Gandalf** : i miiiight have scared off your boyfriend

 **Frodo** : he's not my

 **Frodo** : you know what nvm

 **Frodo** : what did you do

 **Gandalf** : wait adam will want to read that

 **Frodo** : shiro no

 

**Space Expedition**

**Space Man** : okay so

 **Gaylien** : goddammit shiro

 **Earthling** : whatever is going on i'm ready to screenshot and save as blackmail like my life depends on it

 **Gaylien** : ...yeah you're part of this family alright

 **Earthling** : thanks for acknowledging it, demon

 **Space Man** : okay so !!

 **Space Man** : first of all i want to point out that if keith had mentionned someone coming over it wouldn't have happened

 **Gaylien** : i didn't even know he told me he would come by to drop my stuff five minutes before actually knocking on the door

 **Space Man** : that's fair

 **Space Man** : anyway i was doing laundry in the living room and i went to open the door and there he is

 **Earthling** : The Boi™

 **Space Man** : The Boi™

 **Space Man** : i'm just standing there, with a half folded shirt in my hand, looking at him up and down because /i know/ it's him but like, what are you doing all the way over there kiddo

 **Space Man** : and he gets very pale and then very red and starts keysmashing verbally before shoving a plastic box in my direction and saying it's keith's and then dashes out of sight

 **Earthling** : that was slightly... underwhelming, kashi, i expected a shovel talk or something

 **Space Man** : well he ran away before i could say anything

 **Earthling** : excuses

 **Gaylien** : oh god i think i know

 **Gaylien** : i'll be right back

 

**Player 2** > **Player 1**

**Player 2** : so shiro caught you before me huh

 **Player 1** : liSTEN,

 **Player 2** : according to him your face was a sight to see

 **Player 1** : omg shut up mullet

 **Player 1** : i got caught off guard, okay !!! your brother was my hero when i was growing up so you bet i'd get flustered and shit !

 **Player 2** : you mentionned that, yeah

 **Player 2** : he thinks he spooked you

 **Player 1** : D:

 **Player 1** : what kind of reputation am i leaving behind,,,

 **Player 2** : dw you already have a good reputation under my roof

 **Player 1** : wait what

 **Player 2** : nothing

 **Player 2** : anyway if you wanna come over for a proper introduction with him and adam...

 **Player 1** : !!!

 **Player 2** : i could probably bribe them into giving you their autograph

 **Player 1** : oh fuck off

 **Player 1** : but like, you're serious ? it's a big thing

 **Player 2** : whatever flips your pancakes sharpshooter

 **Player 1** : okay ????

 

**Space Expedition**

_**Gaylien** sent (1) photo(s)_

 

 **Earthling** : ...holy shit keith, what the actual loving fuck.

 **Space Man** : gay panic ?

 **Gaylien** : so much gay panic

 **Space Man** : i felt it in my bones

 **Earthling** : "whatever flips you pancakes" ? seriously ? i raised you better than that

 **Gaylien** : i'd like to die please, but i'd also like to get my aids back

 **Space Man** : kitchen table

 

**Talk Slowly To Me**

**One True Love** : have i told you guys about my cow

 **Sodium** : excuse me your /what/

 **One True Love** : my cow !

 **Soft Boi** : i'm sorry i read this on the tune of the tube vine and i can't stop laughing

 **One True Love** : valid

 **Sodium** : can we go back a sec to the moment where you were telling us about your cow ?

 **One True Love** : oh yeah !!! her name is kaltenecker and i love her very much

 **One True Love** : for a while i thought she was a male but then i remembered that males don't make milk

 **Soft Boi** : indeed, it's not milk

 **Sodium** : EW HUNK WHAT THE FUCK

 **McMullet** : what did i come back to

 **One True Love** : hunk my dear my dude apple of my eyes i love you with all my heart but I Will Break Into Your Home And Fill Your Shoes With Pebbles

 **Soft Boi** : uh nuh D:

 **McMullet** : is this hunk's roasting hour ? are we taking turn roasting people ?

 **Sodium** : i see you horny-on-main-hunk and raise you lost-in-the-sauce-keith

 **One True Love** : this one wins everyone else go home

 **McMullet** : what the hap is fuckening

 **Sodium** : aaaand we definitely lost him, hi keith, welcome on earth, hope your treck through the galaxy wasn't too tiring

 **McMullet** : i ???

 **One True Love** : i think you broke him pidge

 **One True Love** : don't worry keef, i'll protect you against all those evil memes

 **McMullet** : i'm going back to bed

 **Soft Boi** : at 5:30 in the afternoon ??

 **McMullet** : ...yes

 **One True Love** : lol ANYWAYS I HAVE A COW AND I LOVE HER VERY MUCH BUT I MISS HER DEARLY

 

_**One True Love** sent (12) photo(s)_

 

 **McMullet** : jesus

 **Sodium** : that's a nice cow

 **Soft Boi** : oh SOMFT

 **One True Love** : i know !!! isn't she great ??

 **McMullet** : on the topic of pets my mom is bringing a dog back from japan

 **Soft Boi** : just... like that ?

 **McMullet** : just like that

 

_**Sodium** sent (7) photo(s)_

 

 **Sodium** : here, have some bae bae for the soul

 **Soft Boi** : [through gross sobbing] nice

 **One True Love** : I Am Now Cleansed Of All Impure Thought

 

_**Soft Boi** sent (10) photo(s)_

 

 **Soft Boi** : admire my sweet cat :D

 **McMullet** : god i miss ielena please tell her that i love her

 **Soft Boi** : will do

 **One True Love** : doin me an amaze

 **Sodium** : her name is ielena ?

 **Soft Boi** : to be fair her name is yellow because she's an old lady and i named her when i was very young but we started calling her ielena at some point and it stuck

 **McMullet** : wait let me see if i can catch the bastards

 **Sodium** : garbage scavengers ?

 **McMullet** : yep, a couple of smartass black cats who think they're better than us

 

_**McMullet** sent (3) photo(s)_

 

 **McMullet** : gottem

 **McMullet** : the big one is galra, and the small one is marmora

 **McMullet** : we just call them assholes

 **One True Love** : they look very clean for street cats

 **McMullet** : shiro catches them sometimes and gives them a bath

 **Soft Boi** : they're witches in disguise

 **Sodium** : that's what i was thinking

 **One True Love** : omgosh

 **One True Love** : you're the local witch boy keith

 **Sodium** : amazing

 **McMullet** : i did not consent to this

 **Soft Boi** : ah well, you know how it is with feral witches

 **McMullet** : i really don't ??

 **Soft Boi** : y'know, as long as you feed them they protect your house and stuff

 **McMullet** : i think they're just cats...

 **One True Love** : oh you soft, innocent child

 **One True Love** : wait one second

_**One True Love** changed their pseudo to **Sharpshooter**_

_**Sharpshooter** changed **McMullet** 's pseudo to **Samurai**_

_**Sharpshooter** changed **Soft Boi** 's pseudo to **SOMFT**_

_**Sharpshooter** changed **Sodium** 's pseudo to **Leprechaun**_

**Sharpshooter:** much better

 **Leprechaun** : valid

 **SOMFT** : the m stands for Protecting My Trans Friends

 **Leprechaun** : AMAZING

 **Samurai** : i don't get mine

 **Sharpshooter:** you walk around with at least two blades on you at all times

 **Sharpshooter:** don't deny it i've seen them

 **Samurai** : there is more where that comes from

 **Sharpshooter:** oh yeah ?

 **Samurai** : yeah

 **Leprechaun** : [loud groan]

 **Sharpshooter:** i'm curious to see how many you can take in one go

 **Samurai** : you'd be surprised

 **SOMFT** : okay so when they do it no one says anything but when it's me "shocking" and "cursed"

 **Leprechaun** : [louder groan]

 **Leprechaun** : GET A FUCKING ROOM YOU TWO

 **Sharpshooter:** geez sorry to have fun around you two poor souls

 **Samurai** : i have to go, see you tomorrow

 **SOMFT** : bye keith !

 **Leprechaun** : see you in lab my dude

 **Sharpshooter** : ttyl :)

 

**Space Expedition**

_**Gaylien** sent (1) photo(s)_

 

 **Gaylien** : apparently i have been possessed by the ghost of smooth flirt for a moment

 **Earthling** : god /you/ had the braincell of the house, i've been looking for it all afternoon

 **Earthling** : even tho you could have used it two hours ago

 **Gaylien** : mom said it's my turn with the braincell

 **Space Man** : mom didn't say anything because she's not the one with the braincell today

 **Gaylien** : anyway if you're looking for me i'll be over there freaking out

 **Earthling** : hey you know what it really looks like he was flirting back on this screenshot

 **Space Man** : hmmm you're right you're right

 **Gaylien** : i'm freaking out even more now bYE

 **Gaylien** : actually you know what

 

**Player 2** > **Player 1**

**Player 2** : you're free tomorrow afternoon ?

 **Player 1** : after my classes, yeah

 **Player 2** : k good i'll have to talk to you about something

 **Player 1** : ...do i have to worry or...

 **Player 2** : ever heard of mothman ?

 **Player 1** : jesus fucking christ okay don't scare me like that

 **Player 1** : no i haven't but i guess i won't be ignorant for long

 **Player 2** : i'll be at the usual spot in the library

 **Player 1** : the librarian will be sick of us yelling but that's a problem for another day

 **Player 2** : that's a yes

 **Player 1** : obviously i wouldn't miss one of your passionate rants about cryptids

 **Player 1** : as long as we don't talk about reptilians again

 

**Space Expedition**

**Space Man** : you just said "you know what" and then disappeared what did you do

 **Gaylien** : i dug my tomb a little deeper but i sure as hell am gonna lie in it

 **Earthling** : ...he a little confused but he got the spirit

 **Gaylien** : This Is The Hill I Choose To Die On

 **Space Man** : good for you, now come down and set the table


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith : Gaylien, Player 2, Samurai, Red Helmet, Bigfoot  
> Lance : Player 1, Sharpshooter  
> Hunk : Soft Boi, SOMFT, Wild Goose  
> Pidge : Sodium, Leprechaun, Carrier Pigeon, Nessie, Clone  
> Allura : Dancing Queen, Swan's Lake, Fala  
> Romelle : Loud Shriek, W.Woodpecker, Rickrolled  
> Shiro : Space Man  
> Adam : Earthling  
> Matt : Original  
> Florona : Flower Crown

**Talk Slowly To Me**

**Leprechaun** : ...hunk why are you back online you should be asleep

 **SOMFT** : i've been thinking about the fire of the library of alexandria and it keeps me up at night

 **Leprechaun** : it /did/ get down in a blaze of glory

 **SOMFT** : TOO SOON ;-;

 **Leprechaun** : ITS BEEN TWO MILLENNIA HUNK

 **Samurai** : hmmm hi one qeustion wha t the fucK

 **Leprechaun** : istg this group is a trainwreck

 **Sharpshooter** : guys come on it's two in the morning some of us have to get up at six

 **Samurai** : what h esaid

 **SOMFT** : i thought your timetable had been cleared ??

 **Leprechaun** : ^^^

 **Sharpshooter** : i still have to get up early for the swimming team

 **Leprechaun** : on a monday morning ?

 **Sharpshooter** : 7 am on mondays and wednesdays, 6 pm on tuesdays and fridays

 **Leprechaun** : this is homophobia ://

 **SOMFT** : agree

 **Samurai** : secconded ^

 **Sharpshooter** : go back to sleep mullet you can't even type straight

 **Samurai** : bold o fyou to assume ican do anythings traight

 **Leprechaun** : oh YOU GOT OWNED

 **SOMFT** : he's not wrong

 **Sharpshooter** : GO TO SLEEP, ALL OF YOU

 **Sharpshooter** : i'll kick your asses tomorrow when you'll be all half-dead on your feet

 **Samurai** : imajhds skeoozp j,,,,

 **Leprechaun** : i

 **Leprechaun** : what

 **SOMFT** : i'm sorry i don't speak late night texan,,,

 **Sharpshooter** : that's it i'm muting this chat

 

**Space Expedition**

**Earthling** : keith, base called and they want us on site asap

 **Earthling** : we likely won't be back home until tomorrow

 **Earthling** : don't think i won't notice if you don't eat before going to school

 **Earthling** : and make sure to close the door behind you

 **Space Man** : ...and you say you aren't soft

 **Earthling** : shut up and get in the car

 

**Talk Slowly To Me**

**Dancing Queen** : gooooood morning everybody, hope you had a good sunday evening

 **Loud Shriek** : guess who had a large glass of loving women juice this morning ? :D

 **Dancing Queen** : i sure did !

 **Loud Shriek** : so did i and now the patriarchy can't stop me

 **Sharpshooter** : god what a mood

 **Sharpshooter** : good morning lovelies

 **Loud Shriek** : hi lance

 **Dancing Queen** : i see you changed usernames while we weren't looking

 **Sharpshooter** : i got some for you if you want

 **Loud Shriek** : :DD

 

_**Sharpshooter** changed **Loud** **Shriek** 's pseudo to **Rickrolled**_

_**Sharpshooter** changed **Dancing Queen** 's pseudo to **Fala**_

 

 **Rickrolled** : i KNEW YOU LIKED MY RINGTONE

 **Sharpshooter** : lowkey

 **Fala** : i'm not sure i get that reference

 **Sharpshooter** : took me a long time to find that one tbh

 **Sharpshooter** : i've been trying to find princess characters

 **Sharpshooter** : i remembered the one from that show veronica used to watch when we were kids

 **Sharpshooter** : beast king golion or something ?

 **Rickrolled** : omg i get it

 **Rickrolled** : i used to watch golion

 **Rickrolled** : babe it's perfect it's exactly you

 **Fala** : if you say so ?

 **Rickrolled** : i'm so making you watch it with me someday

 **Rickrolled** : ...i just realized that it makes lotor prince imperial sincline

 **Sharpshooter** : omg

 **Fala** : okay now i'm curious, i want to know what it's about

 **Sharpshooter** : from what i remember there was a war between altea and galra

 **Sharpshooter** : waIT A FUCKING MINUTE

 

**Player 1 > Player 2**

**Player 1** : did you use to watch golion when you were a kid

 **Player 2** : lance it's not even 8:30 wtf

 **Player 1** : and yet you're somehow more coherent than last night

 **Player 2** : uhdfds first of all don't say it like that

 **Player 2** : and second of all what the fuck is a golion

 **Player 1** : you named one of your cats galra, right

 **Player 2** : yeaaah..?

 **Player 1** : that's from golion

 **Player 2** : no that's from voltorn

 **Player 2** : volrton

 **Player 2** : VOLTRON

 **Player 1** : take your time

 **Player 2** : fuck you

 **Player 1** : if you insist

 **Player 2** : shUT UUUUP

 **Player 2** : anyway galra is from voltron defender of something something

 **Player 1** : wait for real ?? let me look that up

 

**Talk Slowly To Me**

**Sharpshooter** : keith come here i figured it out

 **Samurai** : ah

 **Rickrolled** : what did you work out ?

 **Sharpshooter** : what was going on with his cat

 **Fala** : who, galra or marmora ?

 **Samurai** : galra

 **SOMFT** : hey what's up

 **SOMFT** : oh hi girls

 **Fala** : hello hunk :)

 **Rickrolled** : hiii

 **Sharpshooter** : lemme just

 **Sharpshooter** : here we go

 **Sharpshooter** : "Voltron: Defender of the Universe is the 1984-1985 half-hour animated series produced by World Events Productions (aka WEP) that introduced Voltron to the world. Though the Lion Force incarnation is far more well-known, the series as originally broadcast consisted of episodes featuring both the Lion Force and Voltron Vehicle Force."

 **Samurai** : ...did you just copy-paste the wiki page

 **Sharpshooter** : maybe so

 **SOMFT** : i used to watch voltron vehicle force when i was a child !

 **Rickrolled** : i watched beast king golion which is basically voltron's precursor

 **Samurai** : i watched defender of the universe

 **Fala** : aaaaah, we were talking about voltron the whole time

 **Fala** : fun fact : one of my grand-parents is the reason why one of the planets is called altea

 **Sharpshooter** : djsksk wHAT

 **Fala** : i don't remember the details but basically my dad's parents were big fans of japanese animation and gave some money around to help the studios, and in return they got a planet named after them

 **Samurai** : i'm not even surprised

 **Rickrolled** : i'm just mad i didn't connect the dots sooner

 **Leprechaun** : gentle reminder that some of us don't have class until 9 and would like to REST

 **Sharpshooter** : that's what you get from being up at 2

 **Leprechaun** : with all my love and support, screw you

 **Sharpshooter** : no thank you, that's keith's job

 **Samurai** : i'll force-feed you your own hands mcclain

 **Sharpshooter** : my point exactly

 

**Away From Klancing Eyes**

**Carrier Pigeon** : i don't even have words

 **Swan's Lake** : the worst part is that i can't tell if they're actively flirting or just both incredibly dense

 **Wild Goose** : i refuse to meddle in this mess

 **W.Woodpecker** : same, they have to figure it out by themselves

 **Carrier Pigeon** : agree, but also i don't know how long i can take that bullshit

 **Wild Goose** : amen to that

 

**Player 1 > Player 2**

**Player 1** : so, there's this girl in the swimming team

 **Player 1** : her name is florona

 **Player 1** : a nice girl, honestly, very "fight the power" type of gal

 **Player 2** : lance

 **Player 1** : she wanted me to give her your number

 **Player 2** : lance no

 **Player 1** : buuuuuut she asked so nicely :((

 **Player 2** : don't do it ho

 **Player 1** : :')

 **Player 2** : oh my god i hate you

 **Player 1** : no you don't

 **Player 2** : i'm gonna have to block her again

 **Player 1** : blease be nice to her she deserves all the good things

 **Player 1** : wait, again ?

 

**Flower Crown > Red Helmet**

**Flower Crown** : i can't believe i had to ask your /boyfriend/ for you number, what the hell keith

 **Red Helmet** : not my boyfriend

 **Flower Crown** : oh so i can have him then ?

 **Red Helmet** : nO FUCK OFF FLO

 **Flower Crown** : that's what i thought :)

 **Red Helmet** : why am i friends with you

 **Flower Crown** : bitch you literally blocked me for sending you memes, if this ain't friendship i dunno what is

 **Red Helmet** : remind me to put you in contact with pidge one of these days

 **Flower Crown** : your pocket-sized science buddy ? they're pretty cool

 **Red Helmet** : if i give you their number can i get you to send mermaids memes to them and not me in the middle of the night ?

 **Flower Crown** : deal

 **Flower Crown** : also plax is making bedroom eyes to lance and i'm not about this life but i might have to fight him after all

 **Red Helmet** : smh they'll team up on us we won't see it coming

 

**Player 2 > Player 1**

**Player 2** : the thing with flo is that she tends to befriend everything with a pulse

 **Player 1** : wait so you guys know each-other

 **Player 2** : went to the same schools for 9 years, so yeah

 **Player 2** : it's pretty hard /not/ to be friend with her

 **Player 1** : so did you guys fight orrrr

 **Player 2** : she has a terrible sleeping schedule

 **Player 1** : that's

 **Player 1** : that's valid, actually

 

**Space Expedition**

**Space Man** : i crave death

 **Earthling** : big same

 **Gaylien** : no one dies on my watch

 **Space Man** : no you don't understand

 **Space Man** : eternal void would be more sufferable than this

 **Earthling** : someone broke through the system's security last night and everyone is running around trying to find out if anything been stolen or copied

 **Gaylien** : wait what

 **Gaylien** : the database ?

 **Earthling** : yup

 **Gaylien** : ...give me a minute

 

**Bigfoot > Nessie**

**Bigfoot** : did you hack into the nasa's database last night

 **Nessie** : ???

 **Nessie** : no ?? the only thing i hacked this week-end was the city's files to find my family tree

 **Nessie** : btw i'm not adopted

 **Nessie** : BUT i'm an ivf baby, which is pretty cool, all things considered

 **Nessie** : anyway why

 **Bigfoot** : someone broke in and now shiro and adam are stuck on base with the rest of the staff trying to find out who did it

 **Nessie** : welp it wasn't me

 **Nessie** : wish them good luck bc that's gonna suck

 **Bigfoot** : urgh

 **Bigfoot** : uuuurgh

 

**Clone > Original**

**Clone** : did you hack into the NASA's database

 **Original** : lmfao like i don't have more grown-up things to do

 **Original** : like crying

 **Clone** : understandable have a nice day

 

**Space Expedition**

**Gaylien** : uuuuurgh

 **Gaylien** : so it wasn't pidge

 **Space Man** : uh yeah i sure hope it wasn't pidge, or i'd have some words with sam and colleen

 **Earthling** : also our protections aren't weak enough to let a random high-school hacker in

 **Earthling** : even if it's a genius like pidge

 **Gaylien** : then who ?

 **Space Man** : that's what we're trying to discover

 

**Talk Slowly To Me**

**Sharpshooter** : lesbians gimme your wisdom

 **Rickrolled** : titty soft, girls warm

 **Fala** : bananas float in water, as do apples and watermelons

 **Leprechaun** : pets are sentient and therefore shouldn't be legally considered as furniture

 **SOMFT** : all of the above is valid and i love you

 **Sharpshooter** : same

 **Sharpshooter** : keith wants to know if you wanna join us at the library

 **SOMFT** : team reunion ! give me five minutes :)

 **Leprechaun** : omw

 **Rickrolled** : sure

 **Fala** : i'm coming

 

**B_o_M**

**Antok** : ...I might have screwed up.

 **Krolia** : Why, what did you do ???

 **Thace** : That was you ?

 **Antok** : My bad.

 **Thace** : **@Kolivan** you're seeing this shit ?

 **Kolivan** : I have my eyes on it, yes.

 **Kolivan** : What the fuck, Antok.

 **Krolia** : Ooooh the boss is swearing we're all doomed

 **Krolia** : But seriously i anyone gonna let me know what is going on ?

 **Antok** : I might have underestimated NASA's defense system and now they know I've been browsing their files.

 **Thace** : If I'm discovered and fired because of you, you're absolutely dead to me.

 **Antok** : This is homophobia.

 **Thace** : Say that to my face.

 **Krolia** : ...Should I come back home early or...

 **Kolivan** : No, we follow the plan, but we have to be even more careful from now on.

 **Krolia** : Copy that.

 **Antok** : Understood.

 **Thace** : Got it.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith : Gaylien, Samurai, Red Helmet  
> Lance : Sharpshooter  
> Hunk : SOMFT  
> Pidge : Leprechaun  
> Allura : Fala  
> Romelle : Rickrolled  
> Shiro : Space Man  
> Adam : Earthling  
> Florona : Flower Crown

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry I haven't posted in a while ! Holidays made me lazy lol

**Talk Slowly To Me**

**Leprechaun** : good afternoon people, today's theory is "professor slav can see between realities", discuss

 **Rickrolled** : hum hi yes can i have some context here ?

 **Samurai** : we're in physics and prof ryner's substitute is a weirdo

 **Sharpshooter** : you two must feel at home then

 **Samurai** : i kinda want to argue but you're right

 **Rickrolled** : jsdkhskd

 **Leprechaun** : i'm starting to think he's just high lmao

 **Samurai** : you're laughing but shiro had slav when he was still teaching full time and he was already like that

 **Samurai** : no need to specify that he hated him

 **Sharpshooter** : at least you're not stuck with professor /trigel/ urgh

 **Leprechaun** : hEY DON'T YOU DARE TRASHTALK TRIGEL

 **Leprechaun** : SHE'S THE BEST OKAY I WISH I WERE HER

 **Sharpshooter** : jdhskhd sorry i just mean that history is pretty boring as it is and she has a very soothing voice so i'm kinda falling asleep

 **Leprechaun** : ...yeah okay you're not wrong

 **Samurai** : so far the worst teacher we ever had was sendak

 **Samurai** : a true son of a bitch

 **Samurai** : ableist fucker

 **Sharpshooter** : may i say yikes

 **Samurai** : yes

 **Sharpshooter** : yikes

 **Rickrolled** : wait you're forgetting the top of the top

 **Rickrolled** : remember that time principal zarkon tried to teach math ?

 **Sharpshooter** : excuse me what the fuck

 **Leprechaun** : oh shit u rite u rite

 **Sharpshooter** : when did that happen ???

 **Rickrolled** : something like 3 years ago ?

 **Leprechaun** : nah sis try 2 years

 **Samurai** : you'd think it'd be easy with how rational the subject is

 **Samurai** : BUT NO

 **Samurai** : I'VE NEBER SEEN SOMEONE SO SURE TO BE RIGHT WHEN HE'S OBVIOUSLY WRONG

 **Samurai** : HE EXCLUDED TWO STUDENTS FOR GETTING IT RIGHT IN HIS PLACE

 **Sharpshooter** : neber

 **Rickrolled** : neber

 **Samurai** : no,

 **Leprechaun** : neber

 **Fala** : neber

 **Samurai** : allura you're no longer on my will

 **Sharpshooter** : i see a lurking lady, hewwo beautiful

 **Fala** : istg never type that to me, like, ever again

 **Fala** : that was painful to read

 **Sharpshooter** : understandable have a nice day

 **Fala** : anyway fuck Zarkon

 **Fala** : fuck Sendak

 **Fala** : fuck the system

 **Fala** : fuck everything

 **Rickrolled** : ...are you okay babe

 **Rickrolled** : you sound uhhh

 **Rickrolled** : aggressive this morning

 **Fala** : pidge gave me their dumb uterus disease

 **Leprechaun** : i will pay to never read that with my own two eyes

 **Leprechaun** : but also, my condoleances

 **Rickrolled** : aw babe :(

 **Sharpshooter** : oh pidge it's a they day ?

 **Leprechaun** : aye

 **Sharpshooter** : noted

 **Leprechaun** : thnak

 **Rickrolled** : i said that out loud and sounded like snake

 **Samurai** : snek ! SNEK !

 **Sharpshooter** : snek ? SNEEEEEK

 **Sharpshooter** : HEY

 **Samurai** : aHAH

 **Rickrolled** : as soon as this class end i'm gonna cuddle the grump out of you 'lura

 **Fala** : my hero

 

** Space Expedition **

**Space Man** : so, the good news are : nothing was erased or stolen

 **Space Man** : now the bad news : they want us to stick around to analyse our personal devices and see if one of them was the open door to the hacker

 **Space Man** : which means we could be home either at 3 AM or noon, there's no in-between

 **Gaylien** : that sucks

 **Space Man** : yeah. maybe sleep over at pidge ?

 **Gaylien** : too late to ask

 **Gaylien** : but i'll go to the yellow lion with hunk and romelle for a while and maybe eat there

 **Earthling** : uh yeah i sure hope you will

 **Earthling** : say hi to hunk's moms

 **Gaylien** : yeah okay

 

**Talk Slowly To Me**

**SOMFT** : help i've fallen for percy jackson and i can't get up

 **Sharpshooter** : series 1, 2, gods of egypt, north or the musical ?

 **SOMFT** : ...yes

 **SOMFT** : the musical tho-

 **Sharpshooter** : yES I KNOW RIGHT

 **SOMFT** : THE CAMPFIRE SONG DIDN'T HAVE TO GO /THAT/ HARD

 **Sharpshooter** : LOST IS A BOP

 **SOMFT** : DRIVE TOO

 **Sharpshooter** : OH AND SON OF POSEIDON

 **SOMFT** : /ANOTHER TERRIBLE DAY/

 **Sharpshooter** : god i love george salazar

 **SOMFT** : mood

 **Rickrolled** : how none of you is a musical kid is above me

 **Sharpshooter** : the timing of drama class is overlapping with the swimming team so that's a no for me

 **SOMFT** : i would be too stressed out to even step on the stage

 **Rickrolled** : that's fair

 **Samurai** : i'm not a fan of puppeteers but i've a nagging fear someone else is pulling at the strings something terrible is going down through the entire town wreaking anarchy and all it brings i can't sit idly no i can't move at all i curse the name the one behind it all discord I'm howling at the moon and sleeping in the middle of a summer afternoon discord whatever did we do to make you take our world away i'm fine with changing status quo but not in letting go now the world is getting torn apart a terrible catastrophe played by a symphony what a terrifying work of art i can't sit idly no i can't move at all i curse the name the one behind it all discord i'm howling at the moon and sleeping in the middle of a summer afternoon discord whatever did we do to make you take our world away discord are we your prey alone or are we just a stepping stone for taking back the throne discord we won't take it any more so take your tyranny away discord, i'm howling at the moon and sleeping in the middle of a summer afternoon discord whatever did we do to make you take our world away discord, are we your prey alone or are we just a stepping stonefor taking back the throne discord we won't take it any more so take your tyranny away

 **Samurai** : fuCK WRONG CHAT

 **Sharpshooter** : keith what the hell

 **SOMFT** : ...is that the mlp song

 **Samurai** : how do we erase messages in here

 **Sharpshooter** : god if only i knew

 **Sharpshooter** : wait does that mean you're a bronie ??

 **Samurai** : ...how do we erase other people's messages here

 **Leprechaun** : screenshot taken, saved and sent to matt if anything happens to me

 **Samurai** : here goes my dignity i guess

 

**Red Helmet** > **Flower Crown**

**Red Helmet** : i'm not a fan of puppeteers but i've a nagging fear someone else is pulling at the strings something terrible is going down through the entire town wreaking anarchy and all it brings i can't sit idly no i can't move at all i curse the name the one behind it all discord I'm howling at the moon and sleeping in the middle of a summer afternoon discord whatever did we do to make you take our world away i'm fine with changing status quo but not in letting go now the world is getting torn apart a terrible catastrophe played by a symphony what a terrifying work of art i can't sit idly no i can't move at all i curse the name the one behind it all discord i'm howling at the moon and sleeping in the middle of a summer afternoon discord whatever did we do to make you take our world away discord are we your prey alone or are we just a stepping stone for taking back the throne discord we won't take it any more so take your tyranny away discord, i'm howling at the moon and sleeping in the middle of a summer afternoon discord whatever did we do to make you take our world away discord, are we your prey alone or are we just a stepping stonefor taking back the throne discord we won't take it any more so take your tyranny away

 **Flower Crown** : catch me blasting this in class next monday

 **Red Helmet** : the things you make me do i swear

 **Flower Crown** : i know you know the thing by heart stop complaining

 **Red Helmet** : you're lucky i'm not playing the cup song every time you walk in my direction

 **Flower Crown** : BITCH-

 **Red Helmet** : love you too

 **Flower Crown** : keith that's gay

 **Red Helmet** : thank god

 **Flower Crown** : anyway thanks for the lyrics they will be put in good use

 **Red Helmet** : you're gonna annoy plax into making out with you aren't you

 **Flower Crown** : All Is Fair In Love And War

 **Flower Crown** : also maybe you should do the same, you'd finally get some action

 **Red Helmet** : i'm not dating lance

 **Flower Crown** : i didn't say it had to be lance ;))

 **Red Helmet** : fdhsfiufh i'm not talking to you anymore


	15. Chapter 15

** Talk Slowly To Me **

**Sharpshooter** : why is the groupchat so dead tonight

 **Leprechaun** : doctor appointment

 **Fala** : i'm studying for french class

 **Sharpshooter** : ew

 **Fala** : nique-toi :)

 **Sharpshooter** : keep your baguette talk out of here

 **Sharpshooter** : and where the hell is my mans !

 **Sharpshooter** : where is my beautiful hunk !!

 **SOMFT** : hey i'm here hi

 **Sharpshooter** : !!! he's here !!!

 **SOMFT** : it's monday the dinner's full and i lowkey wanna die :)))

 **SOMFT** : at least i have romelle and keith so that's good ig

 **Sharpshooter** : wait wot

 **Fala** : how is my darling doing on her first day ?

 **SOMFT** : she's doing pretty great for her first rush hour

 **Fala** : i'm proud of her :')

 **Sharpshooter** : wait wait wait what is keith doing there

 **SOMFT** : eating breadsticks, mostly

 **SOMFT** : and doing puppy eyes to my moms to get more breadsticks

 **Sharpshooter** : but /why/

 **Leprechaun** : last i heard shiro and adam were stuck on base so he probably didn't want to stay home alone

 **SOMFT** : my break ended must go back to work

 **Leprechaun** : godspeed my friend

 **Sharpshooter** : noooooo D:

 **SOMFT** : see you guys tomorrow maybe ?

 **Leprechaun** : bye hunk !

 **Fala** : another one gone too soon

 **Leprechaun** : allura no-

 **Fala** : so sad,

 **Sharpshooter** : allura play wonderwall

 **Leprechaun** : it's not even 7 pm stop nightblogging already

 **Sharpshooter** : i haven't heard this term is so long,,,

 **Fala** : oh we're so not talking about The Hellsite

 **Sharpshooter** : bold of you to assume i want to talk about The Hellsite, like, ever

 **Leprechaun** : that's fair

 

**Player 1** > **Player 2**

**Player 1** : i had the weirdest nap

 **Player 2** : why the fuck are you napping in the middle of the evening

 **Player 1** : i was tired now hush let me tell you what i dreamed about, it's good shit

 **Player 2** : i'm listening

 **Player 1** : so there was this new meme going around, right, and it was about area 51

 **Player 2** : qhshdsHSDHS WHY DIDN'T YOU START WITH THAT

 **Player 1** : lmao

 **Player 1** : it starts with this one dude posting a facebook event that says "let's raid area 51 they can't stop all of us" or something and at first they're like 300 people signing in, but then they're 3.000, 300.000

 **Player 1** : and suddenly there are like a million and a half millenials and gen z ready to raid this hyper-protected military zone

 **Player 2** : i could see that happen

 **Player 1** : and people start memeing about it, going "i wanna clap them alien cheeks"

 **Player 1** : and some people try to imagine what is hidden inside area 51, like a toothpaste that 10/10 dentists would recommend, the omnitrix, the secret krabby patty formula, minecraft 2

 **Player 2** : nice

 **Player 1** : and then people start to stategize !

 **Player 2** : jdsksl what ??

 **Player 1** : i kid you not, they're trying to make invasion plans with random people and characters

 **Player 1** : i don't remember all of them but there was kyle, karen, naruto runners, rock throwers, steve from minecraft, sans

 **Player 1** : i'm also pretty sure master chief was there at some point

 **Player 1** : so basically i'm there with 1.5 million people trying to break into the base, and somehow i get in, also i had to punch some fbi agent who knew me ? but yeah i get in there and yOU'RE IN ONE OF THE CELLS

 **Player 2** : AM I AN ALIEN IN YOUR DREAM-

 **Player 1** : YOU'RE AN ALIEN IN MY DREAM DUDE

 **Player 2** : this is the best timeline

 

**Talk Slowly To Me**

_**Sharpshooter** changed their pseudo to **Naruto Runner**_

_**Naruto Runner** changed **Samurai** 's pseudo to **Alien Refugee**_

_**Naruto Runner** changed **Leprechaun** 's pseudo to **Minecrafter**_

_**Naruto Runner** changed **Fala** 's pseudo to **Karen**_

_**Naruto Runner** changed **Rickrolled** 's pseudo to **Kyle**_

_**Naruto Runner** changed **SOMFT** 's pseudo to **Master Chief**_

 

 **Alien Refugee** : get in losers we're raiding area 51

 

_**Alien Refugee** sent (2) photo(s)_

 

 **Karen** : Lance omg

 **Minecrafter** : lance you gotta chill on the weed dude

 **Minecrafter** : you're doing some weird ass dreams

 **Naruto Runner** : maybe_so.jpg

 **Alien Refugee** : i'm an alien bitches

 **Minecrafter** : ...you know that implies that you're gonna get your asscheeks slapped, right

 **Alien Refugee** : 

**Alien Refugee** : fuck

 **Karen** : hAH

 **Naruto Runner** : ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **Alien Refugee** : fUCK

 **Alien Refugee** : new plan, we're raiding are 51 but you leave me there

 **Naruto Runner** : gentle reminder that i did another dream earlier this week where allura and romelle were the aliens

 **Minecrafter** : SDSHSDSH

 **Karen** : no one gets to slap this arse but my beautiful alien girlfriend >:(

 **Kyle** : i second that

 **Alien Refugee** : lurker spotted

 **Kyle** : i wasn't lurking i just finished my service and was catching up

 **Minecrafter** : valid, you may join the raiders

 **Master Chief** : my moms said no :(

 **Naruto Runner** : TREASON

 

**Player 2** > **Player 1**

**Player 2** : hey you up

 **Player 1** : it's 1:38 of fucking course i'm up what kind of question is that

 **Player 2** : i was thinking about aliens

 **Player 1** : yeah what about them

 **Player 2** : imagine we can't meet them because they already came around a first time and all they found was tall lizards and even more flying space rocks than where they come from

 **Player 1** : okay but what if they never left and they live inside the earth waiting for their time to shine

 **Player 2** : i thought you didn't like the reptilians

 **Player 1** : but /aliens/

 

_**Player 2** sent (1) photo(s)_

 

 **Player 2** : raptor earth

 **Player 1** : nO

 

**Space Expedition**

**Gaylien** : if i'm arrested for breaking into area 51 will you guys bail me out

 **Earthling** : absolutely not

 **Space Man** : keith

 **Space Man** : what, and i can't stress this enough, the absolute hell

 **Earthling** : i'm breaking you out but i'm not paying anything

 **Gaylien** : good to know

 **Space Man** : stop encouraging him

 **Earthling** : i mean i'm curious too, you know

 **Earthling** : what are they even hiding in here ?

 **Gaylien** : them aliens

 **Earthling** : classic

 

**Scout Vessel** > **Mothership**

**Scout Vessel** : keith is talking about raiding area 51 for some reason and i don't know if he's serious or if he's just being keith

 **Scout Vessel** : if he talks to you about it can you try to dissuade him, just in case ?

 **Mothership** : I. what ?

 **Mothership** : You know what, sure, i don't want to know

 **Scout Vessel** : this kid is the reason i'll die at 30 i swear

 **Mothership** : There there kashi, it'll be alright :')

 **Scout Vessel** : keith set aside, how are you doing ? japan treating you well ?

 **Mothership** : As good as it possibly can. you grandparents send their regards

 **Scout Vessel** : great... are they still asking when i'll find a wife ?

 **Mothership** : You know how they are

 **Scout Vessel** : yeah i guess i can't expect much from them on this topic

 **Scout Vessel** : tell them we said hello

 **Mothership** : Will do ! see you soon sport

 **Scout Vessel** : you didn't just call me that-

 

**B_o_M**

**Krolia** : So apparently one of my children is trying to beat us to the punch

 **Antok** : Oh fuck no.

 **Thace** : ...It's Keith, isn't it.

 **Krolia** : Takashi is busy yeeting himself in space, he wouldn't have much time to raid a military site.

 **Thace** : Is he serious about it ?

 **Antok** : Does he have the means ?

 **Krolia** : I don't think so, and not that i know of.

 **Thace** : Alright. Well I'll figure something out with the school and keep a close eye on him.

 **Krolia** : Thank you

 

**Talk Slowly To Me**

**Alien Refugee** : also not to be controversial but olive oil and salt on bread is culinary peak and we couldn't top it if we tried

 **Master Chief** : man i love you but it's getting really hard not to fight you rn

 **Alien Refugee** : you can't make me fight you

 **Naruto Runner** : you'd lose immediately, mullet

 **Alien Refugee** : oh absolutely, you can't win against something you can't fight

 **Master Chief** : aw.

 **Karen** : WHY ARE YOU GUYS AWAKE WE HAVE SCHOOL IN FOUR HOURS


	16. Chapter 16

**Talk Slowly To Me**

**Minecrafter** : did any of you check their e-mail this morning

 **Alien Refugee** : not yet, why

 **Minecrafter** : so apparently our entire grade got a last minute addition to our plannings

 **Naruto Runner** : no,,, NO !!!

 **Alien Refugee** : hhhhhhhhhhhhhhh why the fuck

 **Minecrafter** : dunno

 **Minecrafter** : says here that we have "robotics with professor thace"

 **Minecrafter** : i'm not complaining tbh

 **Naruto Runner** : wait wait hold on

 **Minecrafter** : on being hold

 **Alien Refugee** : wait didn't we see thace just last week

 **Naruto Runner** : yes exactly ??? he told us he only did part time right

 **Alien Refugee** : yeah

 **Naruto Runner** : why are we getting this class this late in the year, why with him

 **Minecrafter** : i personally don't care

 **Minecrafter** : we're getting robotics classes and that's neat

 **Karen** : fucks to be you i guess

 **Alien Refugee** : hi lura

 **Karen** : hey Keith

 **Naruto Runner** : CURSE YOU ALLURA WHY AREN'T YOU A JUNIOR LIKE THE REST OF US

 **Naruto Runner** : i love you but i hate you

 **Karen** : rip to y'all but i'm different

 **Karen** : also : i start at 7 every day, 6 days a week

 **Naruto Runner** : nvm you're the strongest of us all

 **Karen** : why thank you

 **Master Chief** : did i rEAD ROBOTICS

 **Minecrafter** : OwO ???

 **Naruto Runner** : owo ????

 **Master Chief** : UwU !!!!

 **Karen** : No,

 **Alien Refugee** : perish, all of you

 **Alien Refugee** : anyway yes robotics

 **Alien Refugee** : with thace, apparently

 **Master Chief** : ooooh yeah it's gonna be great

 **Naruto Runner** : does the mail say when it's supposed to start

 **Minecrafter** : 2:30 PM today

 **Naruto Runner** : alright alright alright alright

 **Naruto Runner** : _(:з」∠)_

 **Naruto Runner** : it's gonna be a long day

 **Alien Refugee** : i'm so skipping eng litt

 **Master Chief** : absolutely not

 **Master Chief** : we have a group project, remember

 **Master Chief** : you're not leaving me alone with rolo and plax

 **Alien Refugee** : hhhhhhhhhhhfjdkndkfksdj fuck.

 **Naruto Runner** : guessilldie.png

 **Alien Refugee** : do we even have time to eat today

 **Karen** : i'm eating at 11 AM if anyone wants to join me

 **Minecrafter** : 11 AM as well

 **Naruto Runner** : 1 pm

 **Alien Refugee** : 12 am

 **Master Chief** : i have a 5 minutes break between two hours of chem

 **Minecrafter** : Oof™

 **Naruto Runner** : this hurt to read

 **Alien Refugee** : how are you even alive hunk

 **Master Chief** : caffeine and pure spite

 **Naruto Runner** : goddamn

 **Minecrafter** : allura let's eat together

 **Karen** : of course

 

** Space Expedition **

**Space Man** : we're coming home in the afternoon

 **Space Man** : but we have to come back in two days

 **Space Man** : but ! we're trying the new capsule

 **Earthling** : is there any food left at home or do we have to make a trip to the supermarket

 **Gaylien** : we have eggs, frozen brocoli, instant noodles and half a brick of milk

 **Earthling** : urgh

 **Space Man** : i'm in a curry mood

 **Gaylien** : you're always in a curry mood

 **Space Man** : true

 **Earthling** : that's it we're going shopping tonight

 **Earthling** : keith we're picking you up after school, when do your classes end

 **Gaylien** : 5 pm

 **Space Man** : we'll be on the parking lot

 **Gaylien** : alright see you

 **Gaylien** : actually i have a favor to ask you

 **Space** Man : ?

 

**XANA** > **Wall.e**

**XANA** : dude there's a robotic club on fridays

 **XANA** : you want in ?

 **Wall.e** : ooooh sign me the heck up

 **XANA** : why are you censoring yourself

 **Wall.e** : my nephew + niece are in the same room as me i don't want them to catch me curse by accident :(

 **XANA** : hunk you motherfluffing loveball you're too pure for this world

 **Wall.e** : i'm rubbing off on you it seems

 **XANA** : meanwhile my brother is the reason why i curse so much

 **XANA** : you guys cancel each other out

 **Wall.e** : unstoppable force vs immovable object

 **XANA** : that puts me between a rock and a hard place, if you will

 

**Player 2** > **Player 1**

**Player 2** : are you at school yet ?

 **Player 1** : just finished with the swimming team, i'm heading to class

 **Player 1** : do you need something ?

 **Player 2** : nothing it's stupid

 

**Space Expedition**

**Space Man** : did you ask him yet ? 

 **Gaylien** : i'm lowkey freaking out

 **Earthling** : KEITH I AM NOT COOKING CURRY FOR FOUR IF WE'RE NOT FOUR EATING IT.

 **Gaylien** : DON'T YELL AT ME I'M STRESSED

 

**Player 1** > **Player 2**

**Player 1** : tell me

 **Player 2** : nah don't worry

 **Player 1** : keith keith keith keith keith keITH TELL ME

 **Player 2** : hhedfhsi oh my god you're so annoying

 **Player 1** : i'm annoying ? i cAN'T BELIEVE

 **Player 1** : just tell me what's up

 **Player 2** : urgh

 **Player 2** : okay look adam and shiro come home tonight

 **Player 2** : we're doing curry

 **Player 2** : there's gonna be a lot of it

 **Player 1** : ...are you asking me to come at your house for dinner

 **Player 2** :

 **Player 2** :

 **Player 2** : yes

 **Player 1** : just say so oh my fucking godeihsdfss /why are you like this/

 **Player 2** : shut up i'm trying my best here

 **Player 1** : are you blushing ? you sound like you're blushing

 **Player 1** : or write

 **Player 1** : you know what i mean

 **Player 2** : for fucks sake lance are you coming or not

 **Player 1** : uh yeah of course ???

 **Player 1** : have you ever seen me deny any opportunity to get food ?

 **Player 1** : also meet my idols but like, that's secondary

 **Player 2** : FDSHFHDSF

 **Player 2** : i hate you sometimes

 **Player 1** : nah you secretly love me

 **Player 2** : you're right

 **Player 1** : wait for real ?

 **Player 2** : i wouldn't spend half the time i spend with you if i didn't appreciate you at least a little, lance

 **Player 1** : awww

 **Player 1** : love you too mullet

 

**Space Expedition**

**Gaylien** : i can't go to school lance just killed me

 **Space Man** : it's barely 8 can all of you just chill for one day

 **Earthling** : so he said yes

 **Gaylien** : yep

 **Earthling** : welp time to bring out the family recipe i guess

 **Gaylien** : find your own man adam

 **Earthling** : just bc i'm trying to make good impression doesn't mean i'm going to steal your boyfriend you absolute heathen

 **Space Man** : i'm like, right here

 **Earthling** : you know i love you babe

 **Space Man** : you say that,

 **Gaylien** : you say that

 **Earthling** : Today On "Broganes Being Insufferable" : The Marriage In Peril

 **Space Man** : no wait i love you

 **Gaylien** : well i have better things to do than watch your little domestic scene, like going to class

 **Earthling** : see you tonight demon

 **Space Man** : have a good day keith

 **Gaylien** : you too, don't kill each other

 

**Talk Slowly To Me**

**Kyle** : I JUST WOKE UP I'M LATEDUSGHFS

 **Karen** : Romelle, baby, you start at 10 AM on tuesdays

 **Kyle** : i

 **Kyle** : wait really ?

 **Karen** : yes really

 **Minecrafter** : you almost had an heart attack didn't you

 **Alien Refugee** : you remember that we have training at 4, tho, right

 **Kyle** : how comes everyone knows my planning but me

 **Karen** : to be fair i memorized everyone's planning

 **Naruto Runner** : that's some dedication right there

 **Master Chief** : aren't you in class, allura

 **Karen** : is that supposed to stop me from talking to my friends

 **Master Chief** : fair enough

 **Master Chief** : but sometimes i worry that we spend too much time on our phones

 **Naruto Runner** : who are you, my granpa

 **Master Chief** : ouch D:

 **Minecrafter** : heads up trigel is currently out for blood, i just saw her make a beeline for ryan's phone

 **Master Chief** : STOP TEXTING THEN

 **Minecrafter** : hmmm nah

 **Kyle** : chaotic neutral

 **Naruto Runner** : slav is being even more obnoxious than usual

 **Alien Refugee** : do you think the new class messed up everyone's schedule or just us

 **Naruto Runner** : WHY ARE WE EVEN HAVING A ROBOTIC CLASS

 **Alien Refugee** : well we /are/ at the space garrison

 **Naruto Runner** : we looking for them aliens

 **Karen** : i'm right here

 **Master Chief** : welp looks like they're completely remastering the timetable folks

 **Naruto Runner** : NOOOOOOOOOO

 **Master Chief** : it's surprisingly better

 **Naruto Runner** : OOOO-oh ?

 **Minecrafter** : trigel is giving ours too

 **Minecrafter** : oH NEAT I START AT 9 EVERY DAY

 **Master Chief** : you lucky bench

 **Minecrafter** : bench ?

 **Master Chief** : bench

 **Karen** : god i wish that were me

 **Kyle** : guess i'll get mine in an hour then uh

 **Alien Refugee** : hm i just got mine and apparently there's a asl class ? i never knew that ?

 **Naruto Runner** : really ? goddammit it better not be on the same schedule as the asl club

 **Alien Refugee** : there's an asl club ??

 **Karen** : well yeah but no

 **Minecrafter** : it's only us

 **Alien Refugee** : what the fuck

 **Kyle** : i thought you were aware we did it ?

 **Naruto Runner** : pretty sure i did tell you tho

 **Alien Refugee** : guess i forgot

 **Master Chief** : tbh we only started last week and pidge couldn't even come

 **Naruto Runner** : maybe we should find a time where we're all free, so we can get together for an hour or two to learn for real

 **Alien Refugee** : i know allura and pidge know sign language but what about the rest of you

 **Master Chief** : eeeeeh

 **Kyle** : :///

 **Naruto Runner** : i know how to sign tarantula...

 **Alien Refugee** : that's it i'm teaching all your sorry asses

 **Naruto Runner** : WE NEED TO FIND THE TIME AND WE CAN'T IF THEY KEEP CHANGING OUR SCHEDULES

 

**B_o_M**

**Thace** : Okay so I tried a thing.

 **Thace** : But it might have made things worse.

 **Krolia** : /HOW/

 **Antok** : And he says I'm the disaster.

 **Thace** : Shut your face.

 **Krolia** : Boys, boys, you're both pretty

 **Kolivan** : What exactly is happening in here ?

 **Thace** : Well...

 **Thace** : Good news : I now have them in my class once a week.

 **Thace** : Bad news : I had to mix things up a little with the other teachers and it's very probable that half of them hate me now.

 **Thace** : But, good news again : I have the team together in a single room.

 **Thace** : Bad news again : I have the team together in a single room.

 **Antok** : HAH.

 **Antok** : Sometimes I'm so glad I abandoned education.

 **Thace** : So am I.

 **Antok** : Want to remind me why I had to leave in the first place ?

 **Thace** : Is this what we're doing ? Are we really backstabbing each other again ?

 **Antok** : I don't know, Thace, you're telling me.

 **Krolia** : Ooookay, maybe tone it down a little you two, no need to bring on the dirt

 **Kolivan** : May I remind you that we all have a job to do ?

 **Thace** : Sorry sir.

 **Antok** : I'm still trying to complete the map, sir.

 **Kolivan** : Good. I need an update by tomorrow morning.

 

**Thace** > **Antok**

**Thace** : Hey.

 **Antok** : It's fine. Get back to work.

 **Thace** : It's not, it was unnecessary agressive and uncalled for. I apologize.

 **Antok** : I'm telling you it's fine, just let go.

 **Thace** : I took it too far and you didn't deserve any of it.

 **Antok** : Look, we're not doing this over text. Either you come at the house and we talk this out like adults, either you keep beating around the bush and avoid me, but I don't want to hear anything more from you if it's not face to face.

 **Thace** : *home

 **Antok** : What ?

 **Thace** : It's not "the house", it's home.

 **Antok** : It isn't for me.

 **Antok** : Not without you in it.

 **Thace** : You're right. We can't do this over text. Let's meet up tonight.

 **Antok** : Nine. Be there or begone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trouble in paradise ?

**Author's Note:**

> Don't forget to leave kudos and comments !


End file.
